Boys Will Be Boys (v.2)

chapter twenty-five - nostalgia

*This chapter is written from Kieran's POV and serves as a reflection on his past, but the initial narrating voice is that of little-Kieran. WARNING: Some of the content discussed may be a sensitive topic for some readers. There will be a general takeaway of this chapter at the end of the chapter for those who wish to skip this update. Sensitive topics that will be discussed/mentioned include: Arguing Parents, Divorce, Conversion Therapy, Homophobia, and Self-Harm. There will be a note indicating when the TW ends (at the page-break)*

chapter twenty-five — nostalgia

PAXTON'S BUTTON-EYE HAD BEEN SEWN ON FOUR TIMES ALREADY BY THE TIME SUMMER CAMP STARTED. It wasn't like he was a new stuffed animal: he was actually ancient— a relic of sorts. When his parents had died in an accident, Dad had gotten Paxton from the social workers. When the social workers came to visit, I'd gotten Paxton from Dad. It was funny how it worked out. Mum didn't see the humor behind it when I loudly explained it on the way back from the courthouse. She'd shushed me, but smiled anyway later that night and kissed me and Paxton when she tucked us into bed.

I liked Paxton. He was a stuffed bunny rabbit, so I wasn't sure what we had in common, but Paxton kept me company when I practiced basketball in the driveway and when Mum and Dad fought. Mum and Dad didn't know that I knew they were fighting, but sometimes their voices would shake the windows, and Paxton and I would hide in the bushes under the ledge. The fighting stopped when Jane came though, and Jane and Daniel took Dad away. The windows stopped shaking.

Paxton liked Mum. She was nice to him and gave him bits of carrots from her garden when he behaved.

Paxton liked Dad. Dad saved Paxton a seat at Daniel's soccer games and made Jane sew his eyes back on when they fell off.

And Paxton liked Matthew.

"Kieran, stop squirming!"

Jane pinned my hand down to the side of the car seat, the other one shoving Paxton to the floor before strapping me in. I whined, grabbing at him noisily. Paxton looked at me sadly from the floor, ears flopping low.

Paxton was too much of a gentleman to tell me how he felt about Jane.

"Shh," Jane groaned, plopping Paxton into my lap angrily before slamming the door.

"Kieran, I don't want to hear another word from you the entire ride, okay?"

I'm not gonna talk to you anyways. I wasn't too sure why Jane was mad at me. It wasn't like I had lied to her: she wasn't my mom.

I scowled into the soft fuzz on top of Paxton's head. I hated going to summer camp with Jane. It wasn't a fun camp like the one Daniel got to go to. There were no basketball courts or basketball nets. There wasn't much of anything really, just a big barn and a lot of older kids who would sit in a circle and read books. They weren't really nice books either, no pictures of bright colors. They were old and musty and Jane put them in a bag under the dashboard to bring them back and forth from the camp.

She'd tried getting me and Daniel to read them with her once, but the words were too small and close together. Jane didn't push us, and so she read us the books to bed. Mum read books to me too, but they were funner and Mum made silly faces when she read them.

I'd asked Jane to change her voices for the different characters once. Maybe not all of them because there were too many and Jane's voice was too itchy, but just a few.

Jane said no, but the next time she read about Abraham* her voice was a little lower and Daniel had giggled.

"Kieran, we're here,"