The Reincarnated Villainess

#1 THE ACCIDENT

Short disclaimer: this chapter mentions some mature content (abuse, neglect and drugs).

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"thanks for your hard work" I heard a familiar voice coming from the staff room/storage. Its mina senpai, a coworker of mine. 

"Finally I can go home" I left the cashier booth to give her the space.

"looks like someone's excited to leave" she looked at me teasingly

"I'm so done for the day, senpai. I'll see you later. Have a good shift" I grabbed an onigiri and yogurt drink to pay for breakfast before heading back to the the locker room for a change of clothes. I left the establishment using the backdoor and took a deep breath to feel the morning breeze. That felt good. It was my decision to take the longer route today. It's the weekend and I won't be working for a while. Besides it's a beautiful day. It's a nice opportunity to have a short break before I return to my reality.

I live in the city by myself. Mostly because my relationship with my parents isn't per usual. I reside within the school dormitory, as a benefit from my scholarship. It was a huge blessing because daily basic necessities are covered by the school. I grew up in a broken family, lived with my abusive, neglecting and irresponsible mom. I was raised not knowing the identity of my biological dad until a certain incident. Mom came from an unfortunate family. She was abused by both of her parents, and because of the toxic environment, she left her parent's house at a young age. She began selling her body to earn money and to have a place to sleep at night. She wasn't a wise woman, nor a smart one. She never had any distinct quality that gave her the opportunity to become more successful. Working in the red district was her only idea to live. Because of the lack of education, she never knew how to protect herself. She met my dad when he was at his lowest, and she actually fell for him, without knowing he was married. She got pregnant, but her pregnancy was not accepted. This rejection made her insane, to the extent of using me to force my dad to divorce his wife. But she failed.

I grew up being abused by my mother purely because of my existence and due to my close resemblance to my dad. I have never met him, but mom always told me how much I looked like my dad. I used to stare at myself in the mirror, trying to imagine how he looked like. And how much I wished to meet him. Yet each day passed with no miracles, my hatred towards him grew. I hated him for leaving us in such situation, for not even showing himself once, nor asking how I was, and for making me experience mom's abuse and neglect. I was patient with her, despite the cold treatment, hatred and pain. I showed her all the love I can. She was, after all, the only family I had and was still my own mother. But all the understanding, patience, love and respect I had for her vanished when my own mother sold me to her costumer in exchange for money. I knew she never loved me, but never have I though she hated me to such extent. I loathed her. I was disgusted at myself for having her own blood gushing through my veins. I pitied myself for being born with a heartless mother and an absent father.

Fortunately, a police officer was on his rounds near our apartment when the man, mother sold me too, was suspiciously carrying my unconscious body after the drug secretly placed on my food took effect.

I was taken out of our home and my mother was sent to prison for her actions. It was a surprise when dad immediately appeared and willingly took me his home. I was under his family registry this whole time yet I was living with mom. He told me many things, how he had always wanted to take me out of my living conditions but mom never allowed his presence near me, how he had always been sending me gifts and financial support to ensure I was living under great circumstances and how he and his wife wanted to take me in the household. But I did not want to believe his words. If he wanted me beside him, he should have done better. It was physically and psychologically painful living with my mom. It was only the school that gave me a sense of belonging and a sense of relief. It was my only reason for living.

With the constant praises of my teachers, I decided to talk and ask the help of our school councillor. I wanted to get into a good high school. Hopefully, a public high school which offers full scholarship that comes with dormitory and allows students to work as a part time. It was tough searching for the decent school, but the information on U public high school appeared when the councillor messaged a colleague. I immediately applied to the school with my teachers recommendations, despite knowing the distance of the school from my hometown. But it was the escape route I found and was willing to take. My application was accepted but the waiting time for the admission confirmation will take a long time to receive.

While waiting for my acceptance, I lived in dad's residence, with his wife and three other children - an older brother, and a twin younger siblings ,a girl and a boy. They were a happy family. I envied how fantasy-like it was living inside their home. I even wondered how dad involved himself with mom, who worked in the red district, when he had such a great life, a sweet and loving wife who loved him and a warm home waiting for his return every single day. Everyone welcomed me into their home, even preparing a room I can use and his children giving me a gift on the day of my arrival. The two youngest instantly called me their onee chan without any prejudice for my identity. But none felt right. I did not belong to their family, no matter how much they welcomed me, and it wasn't because of them, it was me. Because I never knew what sincerity and genuine was from other people. I saw myself as an outcast, my father's mistake and his sign of infidelity to his wife.

When I received the acceptance letter from U public high school, I jumped at the opportunity and talked to dad about my decision to pursue the offer of the school, no matter how distant it was. He accepted my wish although reluctantly. He wanted me to continue living with them before I go to university. I remember the day I left the house to move to the dorms, the youngest were holding onto my hands so tight and my older brother patted my head while looking at me with pride.

After leaving, I have never contacted my mother. I had contact with dad and would regularly receive messages from him asking me of my wellbeing. But I only saw him as my legal adult guardian who can talk to my school. It sounded awful to treat my father that way, but it remains hard for myself to see him as my dad. The only time I replied back was when my half-siblings messaged me. I never grew up with him. He was never present when I took all the hits and kicks from mom to release her anger. Only when the authorities had to step in, he came into my life. But I wanted to associate with siblings, and know more about them. It was awkward because I never knew how to communicate properly with them. I answered when they had questions but I never completely opened myself to them.

Moving to U public high school was the greatest decision I made for myself. It became a goal for me to work hard to increase my chances of entering T university. I've also decided to be part of the student council when a senior offered the role as a secretary. I've met people and developed friendships I never imagined I would have. I started working on a 7/11 convenient store few months after transferring to U High school, taking graveyard shifts on weekdays to earn money for school requirements and for my daily needs not covered by my scholarship. Although dad sends me monthly allowance, it became my choice to avoid using the money at all cost, unless it was an emergency. He was a great man. But I just can't depend on him entirely.

I turned to a different corner after realizing how close I am to the dormitory and decided to take a short detour to a playground to eat my breakfast. I spotted a bench, sat and enjoyed my meal while observing the movement of the sun streaks within the trees and soil surrounding the environment I was at. I sat with my eyes closed for few minutes, then decided that it was time to head back, take a quick wash and hit the sack to sleep as much as I can.

I stood up, and noticed the sounds of running and a basket ball dribbling on the cement. Seems like the kids are up and ready to start having fun, which meant it was the time to head back. As I enter the side walk and exit the park, I was directly met by the kid chasing the ball rolling on the floor, nearly colliding with him. I headed towards the same direction as he was chasing the ball, when I realized the change of speed on his rolling ball. The ball began to roll faster as the pavement sloped downwards, and slowly rolled to the road. The boy, who was too busy chasing the ball failed to recognize where he was, facing the oncoming traffic.

I heard a loud honk from a truck and before I knew it, my body moved as a reflex to push the kid out of the way. But before I can do anything else, my world turned black and cold.

.................................................. end of chapter ...................................................