First Love Never Last

02: Choose

At first naisip kong magbulag-bulagan nalang para hindi mawala ang taong mahal ko saakin. Kasi gano'n naman, 'di ba? There's even a saying that if you love someone kakayanin at tatanggapin mo lahat ng sakit because it's part of love. Pain.
But I realized that if I would do that... Ako ang talo, ako ang kawawa at ako ang tanga... And I won't let that happen. I love him but I also love myself. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung ano ang mas matimbang. Kung ang pagmamahal ko ba sakanya o ang sa sarili ko.

"What's on your mind?" Lebron gently hold my hand and when I looked at him he smiled at me sweetly. Ngiti na para bang wala siyang kasalanan saakin at mahal na mahal niya ako.

"I love you,"

I won't ask him again if he loves me dahil last time na tinanong ko siya ay instead of answering my question he laughed and said: "What's with the question? Does your anxiety attacking you again?". It's like I said some kind of joke to him that time.

He just smiled at me again and kissed the back of my hand.
He didn't respond to my I love you again.

I laughed through my nose. Hindi na talaga siya tulad ng dati.

The whole ride I'm just relaxing my mind with my hands outside the window. Ayokong maiyak na naman.

Nang makarating sa Mall ay inaya ko na agad siyang kumain.

"I know a good restaurant, let's go there," aya niya at hinayaan ko naman siya na hilahin ako papunta sa restaurant na tinutukoy niya.

I'll act normal like I don't know anything just to make our last date happy and memorable. I mean of course magiging memorable ito but not happy like our past dates. Sa last ba naman namin ako mag plano ng ganito.

Dinala niya ako sa isang Korean Restaurant.

"Ahm," I'm asking for his attention habang nililibot ng mata ko ang paligid. "You know that I'm half japanese and not korean, right?"

"Of course I know that," natatawang sagot nito na hindi rin nagtagal. "But I want to try something new, we always eat japanese food," he shrugged at nauna ng maupo sa nahanap niyang vacant seat.

I just sighed while looking at his back atsaka sumunod sakanya at naupo.

Lebron used to be so gentleman and he never complain about eating japanese foods because we both love it.

I sighed again with my thought. I should stop thinking about the old Lebron from now on.

"What's with the deep sigh? Don't you like it here?" He raised an eyebrow. "Come on, don't act up,"

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. He's now looking pissed. What did I do? I just sighed.

"You think I'm maarte ?"

Hindi niya pinansin ang tanong ko at busit na tumingin nalang sa menu to order. He ordered foods agad ng lumapit ang waiter saamin.

"All for two, Sir?"

"No, that's for me. Ask her what she wants," he said and putted the menu on the table.

Napapikit nalang ako sa inis at tinignan ang menu para mamili ng kakainin ko. Hindi ako familiar sa mga korean foods kaya naman inorder ko nalang kung ano ang best seller nila.

"That's all, Ma'am?" The waiter asked while writing my order to his mini notepad.

"Yes, thank you," I replied and gave him the menu.

Habang hinihintay ang order ay hindi ako kinakausap ni Lebron na busy sa pag ccellphone kaya naman I just glared at him hanggang sa tumunog ang cellphone ko.