trigger warning: eating disorder
fat.
ugly.
worthless.
those words echoed in zayn's head as he stared at the heap of food in front of him.
one less bite, and the pain will go.
zayn pushed the plate in front of him. liam noticed and looked up from his own plate.
"you barely ate your food." he said, matter-of-factly.
"i wasn't hungry." zayn answered, a sting in his voice.
liam's eyes softened and he spoke gently. "are you sure you don't want any more?"
zayn followed suit. "yeah. i'm good."
the other three boys had looked over at zayn, confused. he threw on a smile and gave a look to say: everything is fine.
they didn't believe him, but it was zayn, so they didn't fight.
zayn stood up from the table and announced he was going to use the restroom. he left and closed the bathroom door as quiet as possible.
liam watched him go, seeing as his body swaying on his skinny legs. zayn had been eating less lately, and only liam had noticed. he tried to talk to zayn, but he refused to cooperate.
harry leaned over the table and tapped liam's shoulder. "so it's not just me, then?"
"huh?" liam cocked his head, confused.
"it's not just me," harry repeated, falling back into his seat, "i can tell he's getting skinnier. weaker, even."
liam nodded, glad that someone else had noticed.
niall put his fork down and agreed. "i noticed too."
"yeah, the other day i laid down on him as a joke, and he could barely push me off. normally, he could throw me across the room." louis spoke.
liam sighed. "he's too stubborn for his own good. what do we do?"
"i don't know." louis shrugged. the other boys shook their heads and tried to think.
the bathroom door opened and zayn, haggard, stepped out. the other boys looked at him. he was pale, small.
he sat down at the table and fiddled with his fingers while the rest of the boys resumed dinner.
liam hesitated for a moment before he picked up his fork and stuck it in the mashed potatoes.
---------------------------------------------------
zayn closed the bathroom door and locked it. he slid down the white-painted wood and pulled his knees into his chest, burying his face into his legs.
he sighed, the voices in his head repeating the same sentence over and over again.
one less bite, and the pain will go.
he took in a shaky breath as he stood and looked at himself in the mirror. he would have looked intimidating, with all his tattoos and stern face, but his body looked so skinny and sickly, it made him look like a small child. he lifted up his shirt and ran his fingers along his stomach, which had now looked more like bone than skin or fat.
fat.
the word echoed in his mind.
that's what he was.
fat. ugly. worthless.
one less bite, and the pain will go.
he threw his shirt down, knowing that the tears were near. he took a deep breath and opened the door.
