Choice Choose Chosen

Chapter 1

Three days later the prospect of soon having to make this choice still looms over me. I know that I need to talk to some one. But who? In the past I would have talked to laurel but that is no longer a possibility.
At that moment my mum raps on the door.
"Pheobe! Dinner is ready come down in ten minutes." She yells from just out aide my door. Normally when you have girly drama in life you can normally talk to your mum about it. And I could if I wanted to but my mum has Russian routes and is extremely proud of them. I am not sure how we'll she would take my dilemma and for some reason I kind of don't wasn't to find out. So as I trudge downstairs with still no answer and I haven't spoken Laurel for three days. My mind was twiste and muudled kalidescopes if thoughts circled my head. I was oblivious what to do. It was probably obvious that my mind was definetely else where throughout the whole meal and I could feel the hard glare I was reciving from my mum and it was blantantly obvious she knew that there was definetely something on my mind. So after dinner she asked me to help load the dish washer enenthough its something she rarely asks me to do. Keeping my tone as nuetral as possible I started to load the dishwasher as casually as I can. 

"Pheobe you may deny it all you want but your father and i have noyiced that there is definetely something up. You may not think that I can understand your problems but let me just remind you that once I was young girl. And I am just here to hear your problems."  

This was a relatvively long speech for my mum the stern piercing look she usually gave me was replsced with a much softer one. And her usual dictiorial tone was replaced with a more sincre tone. And once again I poured my emotion that I had been concealing over the past three days. I pour out my feeling about Theo Artimge and the prospect of loosing laurel forever avoiding the  intelligent eyes of my mother. When I finally finished my melodramatic meltdow I slowl looked up into the eyes of my mother her expression was impossible to read. The expression was mingled, A mix of wisdom, relief and a tad bit hurt even a sligh bemused look played upon her face. I braced my self waiting oblivious for her esponse there are so many ways this could go. And anticpation filled my body the sort of feelin you get when your waiting for a really impotant est result. And in a way it was kind of a similar scenario.

Then after what felt like eternity she pulled me into a warm embrace. Whispering the soothing words of such comfort in my ear and for about two minutes we just sat there.

"Pheobe, I had no idea you were going through such a trauma, you know I am always hear for you to speak yor problems that is what being a mother is. I know lately I have been hard on you and am constantly bugging you about your future but that is only because I want you to suceed. I was bought up in a way where I kind of grew up too quickly and though I never want that to happen to you, I kind of don't want to hinder or deprive you the chance to grow up like I hear in stories."

I could see teas swimming in her eyes and I mentally cursed myself for not tellin her sooner. My heart felt lighter and my mind felt clearer and I hugged her even tighter as listned to the rest of mothers words.

"You are an exeptionally bright girl and it is only the most intelligent of people come face to face with such wisdom. Everything you have just told me over the past twenty minutes just proves what a truly wonderful girl you are. Eventhough you have feelings for a guy who feels the same abot you you dont want to accept the offer bacuse it could jepordise and incredibly good friendship.I am sure if you told Lurel your dilema the way you told me she would understand and this feeling of awkardness you say might happen you dont know if it actually will happen and when you make prusumptions you will never live. I f you take a leap, a dive and a plunge you will be rewarde but those who play safe and worry about the thought of everyone else without even knowing the outcome. those who do the latter never truly live they never do anything of a spontaneous sought. They never truly live and constantly live under a shdow. You are such a talented girl and I wnt to be there to see you blossom. But the is a natural problem which many people face. And I regretfully say that I cannot relaye quite as much to you situation. But I know for a fact that Laurel is like a sister to you and you have both been inseperable since you were three. But at this day and age if you have such strong fellings towards someone who trusting your judgement must be a real charmer. All I can say is follow the star in your own heart but don't loose youur mindbto the voice inside your head. So talk to Laurel and tell her how you feel, make her aware of you situation. And please do not ever hide anything like this again. I dont want to add to your burden any more but I was really hurt when I felt thatr you could not confide in me. Your my only chid and you will only be young for so long so make the most of being afifteen because when its gone there is no way you can relive it."