Way back into Love

Gun

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A medical student who was trying to find his self after losing a parent, sibling and a grandmother. Its been 2 years since that accident happened but it is still fresh into his mind. He's still feel the pain and grief everytime he remembers the memory of his family who died together.

A perfect family that gone and leave him alone. Forever.

The man sighed as he place his bag at the counter, today is his flight to america. This is his 4th country that he will going to visit. This is the only way to forget what happened in the past. Going places is the only treatment how to heal the scars and bruises into his incomplete heart. As for him.

He doesn't have any trusted friend to lean on. He is alone, sad, fragile and miserable as he describes it. He is once a determined and high-powered man but there is no reason to be happy anymore. It seems all the love and happiness vanished after that accident. The man suddenly wipes his tears and go straight at the boarding station.

'My heart is lonely, it is full of unwanted emotions. I can't carry it anymore. It's getting sadder and sadder. The heaviness of my heart might explode soon and I don't even know how to handle it. Maybe we will meet again soon. I miss you so much Mom, Dad, Amara and Mamita' he whispers in the air.

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'Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking we like to welcome you onboard this American Airlines flight to Los Angeles, California flight duration is around 8:45am and we are expecting a fairly smooth flight today. Once again we thank you for choosing to fly with us today and we hope you enjoy your flight. Have a good day'

A man who was wearing a yellow T-shirt stood up when the plane landed safely. He gets his extra bag and wait for the other person to get off of the plane. His feet finally touches the ground of the 4th country that he will going to explore; America. He felt the same feeling everytime he'll landed into another country. Unfamiliar faces, unreadable signs, strange conversations, different atmosphere but what he loves the most is the same feeling; excitement.

This is what he meant when he says treatment/healing. He will discover different culture, meeting strangers and seeing other people's happiness it makes his heart forgets the past. His longingness disappears and for a while the old Gun shows up.

"Hello Mr. Gun, I would like to inform you that you will be staying at Shore hotel, our shuttle is waiting for you outside the airport. Let me accompany you. - another man is helping him to carry his bags and lead him where the van is.

They walk silently. As they saw the Van, the driver immediately gets his baggage and place it at the back of the car. He just smile to the owner of it and ask him to get in. The man where he met a while ago thank him and waved goodbye.

Inside the van, he puts his earphones on and plays the music repeatedly. 'Way back into Love' hoping for the right time that Love will find him.

*
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

Busy buildings, different colors of cars, stress and tired people outside the window.

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need 'em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

Beautiful clouds, green and shinning trees.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love Oh, oh, oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

He is humming inside the car.

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

Even though he feels his heart is empty, there's a tiny part of it where you can see hope and desire that soon he will find the missing piece of it.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

But when? Where? And How? He doesn't even know the answer.

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

Before the song finally end. The shadow of the building reflects in his eyes. The car stops in front of the full of glasses building with Shore Hotel sign.

He went straight to the counter and check for his reservation. The person in the counter handed him a card key and assisst him until they reach the elevator.

7th floor. He is now facing his room door 716, flips his car key and the wide door finally open. He was amaze after seeing the beauty inside of his room. A white and soft bed, wide and large television, lamp, cabinets and more especially the clear window where he can see the view outside.

He throw his self into the bed and close his eyes. 'How long will I going to stay here? A week or A month?' The answer? He just shrug. Stairing at the ceiling. His pinky shiny lips twitched as he remembers everything. Hot fluid running into his face, heart burst into sadness and hands are shaking, his sobs grew louder and louder 'til his face got swollen.

'When will the pain end? Mom? Why you didn't take it? Why this extreme sadness won't go away just how you guys did? I miss the genuine happiness, the love and the old me. The old Gun who is cheerful. Dad? Please take it. I don't want this sadness to eat me. I don't want to harm my self anymore.' words coming out from his mouth. He looks at his wrist with full of horizontal lines, the marks of extreme sadness. The evidence of cutting off the pain. The scars that proves that he is longing for love.

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