HALF HOPE

Half Acceptance (VII)

It was midnight but Hope couldn't fall asleep. The thought of her hugging a stranger felt fiddly. She changed all her sleeping patterns, ran fingers across her scalp a couple of times, tried pulling her hair to calm the storm inside. Nothing worked. She fell half awake and half asleep in her tent right next to the one Dustin set his.

Often in times we get so indulged in finding our own meanings and happiness that we forget what the other person is. I never thanked Dustin for what he has done for me. I was so selfish and maybe part of being happy is being selfish. But it can just emote out the ones you need to stick your fingers in and never let go. These people are rare to find. The old man felt stupid and right at the same time in her mind. She changed the side of where she was lying before. Dustin couldn't leave her mind. She thought it is time to tell him the truth. She held the same piece of old paper inside the locket the Murkhshik gave her and thought a million times about opening it.

"Open it when you reach Santa." Those words meant nothing to her. But the thought of eluding someone's word felt harming. She had to do it at the right time. Her heart wasn't at peace.

She got up and sat outside her tent to listen to silence. Silence can be therapeutic sometimes. It can make you feel alienated, but in all liberations lies momentary inner peace.

Dustin hugged his shirt tightly to sleep but his happiness wouldn't let him. He tried closing his eyes many times but the thought of the girl he loved hugging him would leave him astray. "Why would she do that? He asked himself in his tent. I should tell her the truth about me. But I fear she'll hate me. Maybe I should tell her that I love her. Maybe now is the time."

A couple of nerve mending thoughts passed by his medulla. Overthinking can complicate things pretty quickly. So he decided to wait and blur things. He got up and saw Hope sitting outside with her eyes closed. Dustin made his way near her and found a cold spot to warm it.

They both looked up to the sky as far as they could possibly. One of them tried to count as many stars as possible at the moment. The Comet had long been gone. Only its light stayed. Silence could sometimes give you an answer that one would never find in the sound. Silence could sometimes make you fall in love and embrace all the details on the face of another person. When you have silence, it's hard to hide feelings.

Hope closed her eyes. She felt peace after what happened to her and the old man.

"I was scared, Dustin." She broke the silence in four words.

I was scared, that is why I hugged you. It's a coping mechanism. You hug your worst feelings out and for once feel loved. Hugs are my best friend. Whenever I am down and sad, I hug whatever's in front of me. She tried to keep Dustin's head clear from mixed feelings.

"I get it, Hope. Totally." Dustin didn't say a word after that. He knew it was a mistake but the thought of just having her beside him was overwhelming enough.

"I was thinking I never thanked you, for doing all of this that you did for me. This place is strange. But having someone like you with me here, makes it less scary. Hope continued with empathy. I have been miserable and the collaboration of repressed consciousness and deject-fullness inside me started inflicting that on you. Maybe I am this selfish, narcissist who only thinks the world revolves around her. Maybe I should start thinking for other people, who kindle me into this being that I am."

"You will never have to thank me Hope. He took a brief pause. I am just a passing cloud, if not me, anybody would have helped you and you would have asked the same question."

"I lied." Hope got up and threw a rock as far as her anger could manage at the moment.

"We all lie, the only question that matters is about what?" He asked sitting.