Playing For Brains

Chapter Thirty One

The long cold shower allowed me to explore my thoughts and clear my head. I knew that I needed to stop being so reliant on the group, so that I didn't lose my survival skills out there, but I couldn't leave this place. I wouldn't be able to leave the group behind. My new misfit of a family. However much I hated to admit it, I cared about these people.

I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a clean blue towel off the rail. After drying off, I realise that I only have the dirty clothes in the room with me, which were well overdue for a wash. I wrapped the towel around my body and made my way into the bedroom, getting a surprise as I take in the room.

Sat on the edge of my bed fidgeting with his shirt was the redneck who always managed to confuse the hell out of me. He could be harsh and cold, but then so accepting and caring when nobody else was around. It was like he was a different person when he was left alone in his own safe environment. He noticed my presence, taking in my appearance, before quickly averting his gaze to the floor. "Sorry, I didn't realise, I can cum back if ya want" he exclaimed startled.

"No, it's fine. Let me just put something on. Can you turn around?" I grabbed an oversized T and a pair of leggings from the set of draws near the door. I should probably give the number of shorts in there to Beth or one of the other girls, it wasn't like I could wear them anymore anyway. It would show off my new way of life to everyone here who wasn't aware. Being undead was bad enough to keep from the residence of Alexandria, but the fact that injuries didn't cause me any pain was privy to even less individuals.

"What's up?" I ask once I had changed into my clothes, discarding the towel to one side. I take a seat at the foot of the bed next to the redneck, my mind running wild on why he was here and why he seemed so uncomfortable. They usually sent Beth if they wanted to check on me, so this was a surprise.

"Ya alright? After ya know" he muttered quietly. Keeping his eyes trained on the floor, while he chewed on his bottom lip.

I look at him in disbelief. Since when did Daryl Dixon do check ins to make sure that I am okay. It was quite out of character. I nod and let out a hum, not really knowing what to say. I felt better about it after my shower but I couldn't get the thoughts about what would have happened to me if him and Rick hadn't turned up out of my mind.

"Ya scared me back there. Yu've got to be more careful, shouldn't go off on ya own" He added, turning to look at me. I found myself looking away unable to look into his baby blues. Why does he have this effect over me?

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking" I muttered, feeling ashamed. I shouldn't have gone with them in the first place, after everything out in the woods, it probably wasn't the best of ideas. I should have stayed here with Beth like everyone would have preferred.

"Nah, no need to be sorry. Just be careful in the future" he retorted standing up, I stand up with him and our eyes meet. I can see the concern filling them, but they quickly changed.

"I'm going on a run, but Beth is downstairs if ya need her" He added before leaving me alone again, but this time I wasn't sure I wanted to be.

I grabbed my towel and made my way back into the bathroom, hanging it to dry on the towel rail, before grabbing my dirty clothes of the floor so that I could take them downstairs to be washed.

"Hey, I wondered where you had gone too. Daryl was looking for you, did he catch you before he left?" I was greeted by the young blond, who was busy doing the dishes in the sink. I had to admit that just seeing her there made my mood lighten a little and all those negative thoughts leave my mind, as if the last 24 hours never even happened. She was too pure for this world.

"Yeah, I was just grabbing a shower" I reply, placing my clothes in the wash basket under the stairs. I then took my place next to Beth and grabbed a cloth to dry the pots that she had finished washing.

"How are you? You've been really quiet and kept to yourself since you went hunting with Daryl the other day" She asked not taking her eyes of the dishes in front of her. The question was so innocent but it could uncovers such morbid answers. Did I tell her about what happened out in those woods? Did I tell her about what happened back at the satellite station? How would she react to those?

She noticed my pause. Turning to look me in the eyes. I could see the concern in her eyes, like Daryl had shown merely minutes ago. I didn't need people feeling sorry for me. But that look was all it took to make my inner self crumble and break down. I could feel the tears begin to run down my face, and a sob begin to grow in my throat. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop it.

Beth didn't ask any questions she simply took the towel from me to dry her hands and engulfed me in a hug. I wasn't sure how long we were stood there, but it wasn't until Rick walked through the door, until we pulled apart and Beth reassessed my condition.

I could feel that my eyes were red and puffy, and my face was stained with tears.

"What happened?" Rick asked cautiously, not knowing whether it was in his place to do so. I know that I haven't really been the most welcoming with all of the group, so I understood his reluctance to bother me. But he was the groups leader, my leader and I looked up to him. For what he did for everyone here. I probably should try to get to know everyone here a little better, if I was being honest. And the best way to do that was to open up to them all and be truthful.

So I decided to start with Rick. He knew about me being undead, but I brought him into the fold about the inability to feel pain. He looked shocked but intrigued at the same time leading me to show him and explaining to him the incident which went down when the wolves attacked.

"You didn't need to hide this; we would all understand. It's a little strange as we haven't really come across this before, but we could have handled it together" Rick began. "It just means you are more like the dead, is that the only side effect of all of this so far or is there more?" he quizzed.

I felt a lump form in my stomach as Beth's attention was drawn to me, waiting to see if there wasn't anything new, she didn't yet know. I thought back to what happened back in the woods. How Daryl had reacted, when he suggested such an idea. How would they react to the fact that I had to eat fresh meat? The fact that I was in every way the same as the dead, apart from one small fact. I could still think for myself; I wasn't a mindless freak with nothing on my mind but fresh meat.

But what if I slowly began to turn into one of them. What if that incident in the woods was just the beginning?

I needed to get this of my chest and explore what it meant for the future. No more secrets. Not with Beth or Rick anyway. I wasn't prepared to shout it from the rooftops, but I needed to tell someone other than Daryl. And that was when it all came pouring out along with a fresh set of tears.