It’s been 3 years since I’ve physically l been with Diana.. Three long years, I sighed as I raked my long fingers through the unruly curls. I never thought I would lose her, but unfortunately nothing good last a lifetime. Day would go by as I would sit in my home, missing her. I miss every little detail about her. The crinkles by her big hazel eyes that sparkled as she smiled, her soft, dark brown wavy hair that hung just below her collarbone, her small curves that suited her body perfectly, the fact that she could wear the craziest of things and still looking stunning. She was something else, but MY something else. My best friend. My love. My life.. My soul mate.. It just wasn’t the same.. Life has been hell without her. It wasn’t finacial problems, nor housing problem, but her presence was needed in my life.
I could feel the tears threaten my eye's before continuously blinking them away. All I wanted was one last chance to make it alright for us again. To be a family and to get back on the right past, but I can't. I could never take back all the wrongs I have done, all the times I have given up when I should have been right there and make it all okay. I was selfish then and too blind to see I was the main source of her pain.. And I can never forgive myself for that..
Tears now stained my flustered cheeks. I wasn't mentally or physically prepared to see her after all of these years. I went through a stage of shutting everyone out and blaming them for my mistakes and problems, but now.. I needed to correct my mistakes for her. To let her know I'm a new man and I do, infact, love her.
As I drove down the highway road, I watched as the autumn leaves danced on the ground. "It's getting cold.." I thought to myself, it being an obvious observation. Light grey puffy clouds cluttered thesky, allowing the sunlight to peek through very so rarely. Splashes of vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows invade my peripheral view. Something I always hated was the cool weather accompanying the beauty of fall. My favourite season had fall due to the vibrant colours and the smell so cool and crisp filling the senses, but hated the chilling weather. Eventually, you grow accustom to that type of weather when you live in England, where only a few lucky days are warm.
The thoughts of her broke my heart even more. She may have not have been my first love in life, but she was and always will be my last. It pains me to have seen her go.. I should have done more.. And even though the lads tell me I did my best, I just can’t believe it.
I was pulled out of the depressing thought, her gates appeared in front of me; the place she had remained since I last seen her. Slowly, the car was pulled in front of the metal bars, towering high as sharp edges meet at the top. My jade eyes fell on the keypad that would grant my entrance. A hesitant breath fell from my pink lips as the four digit security code was nervously typed in, my hands shaking uncontrollably.
The gate squealed open, a gravel road leading me to her; My desired destination. The view was something I took pleasure in seeing. Many of memories were made here. Some good. Some bad, but never ones I regretted. I had to accept them for as they was, because they are the only thing I have left of her. Even if they did end in an argument or with hateful words,in the end they always ended in saying I love you.
A weak smile played on my lips as I remembered all the times we came here together, but it soon faded at the glance on her. My breath hitched in my throat, a lump of dread washing over me. "Diana.." I quietly mumbled into the deafening silence of my Mercedes. My grip on the steering wheel tightened, my knuckles turning white. My mouth ran dry and nothing could soothed this awkwardness, dread, nervousness,fright, and hurting filling my stiffened body.
The tears begin to stream down my face one by one. I have missed her so much. I wanted to see her now, but the depression began to sink in. I know every time I try going through with this I back out before something bad happens. I make up excuses, pushing off just a little longer ever since the day I was here with her.
The car was pulled to the side, near the lake house we built together. My body turned round in the seat as I reached in the back for the purple Orsaile Roses. My body trembled as I took a deep breath, forcing my shaking legs to step out of the comfort of my car.
A willow tree tall and lengthy, blocked her from my view as I neared it. The light swoosh of water from the lake, ringed in my throbbing ears as I continued to push myself towards her. There she was.. A breath caught hold in my tightened throat, my heart aching at the sight of her.
"Hello, beautiful.." I whispered into the wind, the willow branches lightly swaying with the cool air. Before too long I knelt in front of the headstone, smiling at the picture of Darcy, Diana, and I on the gravestone. Tears brimmed my swollen eyes, splashing down my cheek. My hand caught hold of the corner, gently rubbing the side. "I'm so s-sorry.." I nearly choked on the words that meant so much to me.
*Author's Note*
I'm sorry to leave you off on such an awkward spot, but please comment your thoughts. If you like it I will continue. If not, the book will be erased. Thanks for the feedback! <3
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Maybe In Another Life..
RomanceAs I looked over at her, it suddenly struck me how beautiful she was. Her hair was blowing carelessly in the wind, rich and dark in the sunlight. I had the oddest impulse to touch it, to reach out, to see if it was as soft as it looked. Her pink lip...
