Kissing the Flames

Simula

Eighteen.

I was told that life's excitement begins at eighteen. This is when you're gonna be legally announced. All the laws will be applied to you with the right punishment. A life where you can do anything you want but this is all the time where you put a limitation on your every acts.

My mom molded us to be come a woman when we were young. She taught us how to behave when we reached that age. We need to be careful, we must watch our actions thoroughly. Especially, me.

Everyone in our house feared me. Everyone. Kahit ang parents ko. They're afraid that i might do something really bad when i grow up because of my unusual... things.

"Diyos ko... Ava! Ma'am! Sir!" I was sitting on our backyard that afternoon. Busy ang mga tao, may darating na bisita. Wearing my usual black night dress.

Humahangos na dumating sila Mom and Dad sa lugar kung nasaan ako. Puno ng pag aalala ang mga mukha dahil sa tono ng sigaw ng aming mayordoma.

Blood is dripping in my hand, I'm holding a dinner knife. Agad tumakbo patungo sa akin ang aking mga magulang. They were used to it, but they don't like it.

Hinatak ni Mommy ang aking kamay patayo kaya nabitawan ko ang kutsilyo. A small frame came, looking at me worriedly. A young woman with a same face as me.

"Avalon..." Nag-aalalang tawag nito sakin. A small smile came to my lips. Everything about her makes me soft.

Bago pa sya makalapit sa akin ay umangat na ako, tanda ng pagbuhat sa akin ni Daddy. This is almost everyday routine.

"Manang, paki alis si Eveline dito at paki tawag si Donna, pakilinis ng kalat doon." Mommy.

They're afraid that I might be a psychopath one day. Lahat ng katulong namin ay takot sa akin, takot na baka saksakin ko sila. Reason why there's no any sharp things such as knife, fork, scissors, etc. on my sight. They won't let me play with my twin. Kahit kanino.

But despite of all that. My mommy never forget to mold me a better person, for future purposes. Every harsh moves I made, she always talks to me, never minding her fear, she's staying beside me too. Never ko naramdaman ang ibang trato nila sa akin.

"Mrs. Navarette, I call you here because of your daughter, Avalon." Our Principal said, one time when I was seven. My classmate bullied my twin and I stabbed his hand with my sharp pencil.

"Yes, Ma'am, we heard what happened. I'm sorry this happen again." My Mom said calmly as she caressed my shoulder.

"This is the fifth time of this week, Mrs. She's hurting some of my students here, brutally. Scissors, pencil, anything that can stab someone. This is alarming." Nag aalalang tugon nito. My mom just nodded, as she absorb everything. "May i ask you Mrs., is she ever treated differently at home?"

"No... no, no, no. I'm sorry. My daughter is really having a hard time to socialize." She sighed and nodded again. "Thank you for getting easy on Avalon and for accepting her in your school. I think i might have a solution to fix this."

We left that school... for good. After that, i was home schooled. My mom explained it to me, why i need to do that. Everything. She makes sure that i understand it all and won't have any heavy feelings.

"Ava, anak... can Mommy talk to you?" She hesitantly asked me that night. I was in my room, ready to visit all my dark dreams. I nodded and sat on the edge of my bed, tumabi naman ito sa akin.

"Did i do something wrong?" I innocently asked. I expected her to agree with me and get angry but instead, she caressed my hair softly para bang dinuduyan ako nito.

Umiling sya sa akin at ngumiti. "Nothing is wrong with, you, defending your sister from the bully. But anak... hindi lahat ng tao ay parehas ko. They saw it very alarming, disturbing maybe even... something worst." I nodded, taking it all in me, her every words. She sighed and continued talking. "People are hypocrite, i am not exception to it, anak. If their child to what you did, they will defend them too, but since it's not their child, they will judge you without looking deeper in the situation. Hindi kita nilalayo sa mga tao, i am doing this so that you can adjust first. We will wait for you to step out to your own shell all by yourself. Me and your Daddy, thought na baka you're not that... friendly... yet. And we're pushing you to socialize kahit na you're not that ready pa. We are sorry, Ava."

"No, mom... I'm sorry." Sabi ko sa maliit na tinig.

Hanggang sa tumanda ako, everytime I've done something unpleasant... wrong, they will talk to me gently. I never experienced being scolded by them. My twin grew up, soft spoken. And me, i grew up exactly opposite of her.

When we reached the age eighteen, our mother let us experience what a teenage life is, but of course with their guidance.

Sa buong buhay ko, gusto ko maranasan magkaroon ng kaibigan, makalabas. But after losing my, supposed, own flesh and blood. I suddenly wished that i continue shutting my world out to everyone. It was my nightmare every night. No matter how far i run, it will hunt me down.