Love me back (Bill Kaulitz fanfiction)

Apologies

The next morning, I was still awake. I could hear the phone ring and my brother answer it:

"She's with me now… No, I arrived in time…He caught her at the entrance… I'm afraid you can't, she's still in shock… Sure, try to call back later…"

I was sure he was talking to Sarah: I did not send her a message to tell I had arrived home safely. I looked at the time on my phone and noticed it was now time for Paul to go to work. When he opened the door of my room, I didn't move from under the covers, pretending to be asleep.

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay." he said. "Just tell me."

"No, it's okay." I replied softly. "Just go. I need to spend some time alone. I'll be fine, don't worry."

"I'll try to get back home early. If you need anything, call me."

We said good-bye and I heard him start his car. When he finally left, I realized I was home alone for the first time in a long time. I usually hated to be alone but today was the exception. At first, I called Sarah back. When she recognized my voice, she was hysterical and apologized a million times, saying she didn't read my message in time because she had had an argument with her boyfriend who had been flirting with another girl when we were together. When she tried hours later to contact me and Paul answered, she thought I was in the hospital or worse. Needless to say it took me a while to calm her down, especially since she was also sick from the hangover and couldn't move from her own bed, which made her feel even more guilty. When I finally hung-off, I felt a little more serene and started gently dozing off.

When I woke up, I felt something warm stroke my ear and turned to see a little dog busy licking it and wagged his tail when he saw my face.

"What are you doing here?" I grunted at the puppy, still half-asleep.

Suddenly, I remembered whose puppy it was and raised my head: Bill was there, standing at my door. It seemed he had come on his own. When I recognized him, I sat on my bed and avoided looking into his eyes.

"Go ahead." I muttered. "Make fun of me. That's what you came here for, isn't it? Say I didn't come to face you again because you intimidate me too much and I'm such a prude and stuff. Go ahead. But I'm warning you, I'm not in the mood for funny retorts."

"Who said I came here to be funny?" he asked softly.

When I paused and looked at his face, I saw he was staring at me with genuine concern. I sat on my bed and leaned against the wall.

"You know." I whispered.

Actually, I wish he had come to make fun of me, this time. But he wasn't. He then came in and slowly walked towards my bed before kneeling next to me.

"When Paul told us about what happened to you, I left right away to see you. I just wanted to apologize for what I did and said to you. My brother and I just wanted to tease you but I should've realized sooner that this was going too far. And when I said those things to you in the bathrooms, I thought I had to clear things so I would not give you false hopes. And I was also a little scared, I guess. Anyway, I know I've been too harsh on you and I'm sorry."

While listening, I kept nodding attentively. Although I had no proof that he was not lying, something in his attitude was telling me that he truly meant every word he said. Maybe I was wrong about him, after all. Maybe he wasn't the arrogant jerk I thought he was.

"So that means," I replied. "in the end, I won our little game. Right?"

Surprised by my question, Bill smiled lightly.

"Yeah, I guess you won, indeed."

"I knew it." I replied and smiled before tears welled up again.

When Bill saw it, he got up and tried to hug me, which made me move back against the wall by reflex.

"Sorry." I muttered.

However, he seemed to understand and moved back.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

"He punched me. We didn't-- go all the way, if that's what you're asking." I answered awkwardly.

He nodded.

"I see."

He looked mad and even more remorseful than before. As I gently rubbed my bruised stomach, visions of that night slowly came back, horrifying.

"I can still feel his hands on me. They were disgusting and cold, like spiders." I declared in a low voice and shivered.

At this moment, silence grew between us during which neither of us looked directly at one another.

"Sorry. I don't know why I said that-"

"I'm sorry you were hurt because of me." Bill cut me off. "If you hadn't been so mad at me, maybe none of this would have happened in the first place. I understand if you're mad at me now."

"Don't worry. I'm not mad at you. It wasn't your fault." I replied with a small smile.

He tried to smile too. Neither of us knew what to say next and we both felt as awkward as ever. Another long silence took place between us before Bill finally got up.

"I should be going now." he hesitantly declared. "Everybody's waiting for me and I'm already late. Come on, Pumba!" he called his dog.

The little bulldog went at his master's feet, excited with the anticipation of going back home. However, when he passed the doorframe, I got up from my bed.

"Wait!" I exclaimed.

Both the master and the dog stopped in the middle of the hallway as I looked at Bill's face and bit my lip.

"Actually," I started awkwardly. "I want to apologize too. For everything. The night was short for me and I've been thinking a lot. I had the scare of my life last night. So I realized that this little war going on between us-- it wasn't worth it. It was nothing. So I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and that I feel ready to change. I'll try to come back to see you guys tomorrow."

"You don't have to." Bill replied.

"I know. But I want to. I'm the one who mentioned it in the first place but I guess it's time I stop acting like a little girl and-- well, try acting like an adult." I concluded with a smirk.

As soon as he heard these words. Bill grinned at me.

"You're tougher than I thought. I'm glad to hear you say all that."

We then shook hands like two officials who had just signed a peace treaty. His hands felt warm and he then gently squeezed mine with both of his. That gesture comforted me even more than the rest. After we said goodbyes and he finally left I went back to my room, laid down on the bed and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.