Pirates of the Caribbean: Short Stories/Scripts

Bar scene

The camera zooms on in a bar, the lights dim and conversations are muffled. Enter story:

Jack Sparrow and Will Turner were in a bar, Jack having already drunk three bottles of rum and moving on to the next. Will had been watching him consume the alcohol like a mad man, his bottle still full.

Jack had noticed Will staring at him. His eyes squinted at the stern man, wondering what he was doing wrong. After awhile, he just went back to drinking his rum.

"Ah rum. The pride of the Caribbean. Ye know, some say it to be a man's best friend, but to me, it's number one." Jack said, raising his bottle.

"What is man's best friend?" Will asked, wondering what Jack meant.

"Well... Some say women are. As they are warm and you can do wondrous things with them. Whereas rum is always available." He explained.

He leaned in closer to Will, as if telling him a secret.

"I get a lifetime supply of it from the East India Trading Company. But here's the catch mate. I don't have to pay a penny since I sent them a fringy contract, under the name of -get this... Seymour Butts. Get it! Because..."

Will gave him a confused look. Jack cleared his throat.

"Ah, you weren't amused.

Will shook his head.

"Oh, well anyways... The point is, in my opinion, rum is truly man's best friend." He faced forward, taking another swig of rum.

"Well what about dogs?" Will asked. Jack turned his attention back to him.

"What about them?"

"I thought everyone said a god is a man's best friend."

"Nobody says that." His eyes narrowed.

"They do" Wil said

"No they don't" Jack countered.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"You can be intimate with a woman, perhaps even with rum, but you can't be intimate with a dog..." Jack paused, thinking. "Oh... So you're one of those people..."

"What!? Oh, you think I!-"

"No no, it's alright. I mean, I guess if you like that sort of thing, then I say go for it. I guess they do have positioning down. If you like to be intimate with mongrels then go on ahead."

"That's not what I meant." Will said, getting more annoyed by the second.

"Eh. some people's hobbies... You haven't taken a sip of your drink." Jack said, pointing at the full glass in front of Will.

"I'm not in the mood for foolishness at the moment." Will scowled.

"Is that what you think rum is for? To have you get drunk and go galavanting all over the place? No! It is there to clear your mind and heighten the senses. Look at me mate. I been drinking since I was six. Aren't I the spittin image of beauty and rational actions?" He said, gesturing towards his lanky body. Will only scoffed. Jack raised his drink to him.

"Take a swig. It'll fo ye good."

He pushed the bottle towards him. Will just sat there.

"Take the bloody bottle."

"No it's quite alright Jack." He said pushing Jacks arm away.

Jack drew out his musket.

"Take the bloody bottle before I blow your guts out. If I blow your guts out, you'll turn into a bloody mess. And if you're a bloody mess, you'll die. And if you're dead, you'll never be best friends with a dog... Savvy" Jack smirked.

Will took the bottle willingly, taking a quick sip before setting the bottle down.

"Savvy." He said.

The camera pans out, the scene fading to black.

Disney please hire me and my brother lol :)