The Time When It All Went Wrong

Chapter Two

I was awakened by the sound of an ambulance outside our house. What an irritating way to start my day, I thought. I peeked through the window of my room, there are many people out there so out of curiosity I asked my mum.

“What's the commotion all about mum, it's 8 am?” I asked her.

“Morning sweetie, our neighbor committed suicide so just stay here in our house okay? I don't want you to be involved in those kinds of things” she stated.

“What?! Why?” I was really shocked about what she told me so I went back to my room to peek again and also to eavesdrop.

“She was so young,” our neighbor said.

“It must be so hard for her to carry the burden,” said another.

It took half an hour to widen again the street. Our neighbors were done with what they're good at went to their homes. I on the other hand can no longer go back to sleep so I told my mum that I'm gonna wander around the town.

“Remember your curfew!” she shouted.

I took my phone and earphones with me so that no one will talk to me, assuming that someone will talk to me in the first place. Listening to DNCE's song titled Toothbrush. I got tired of walking and it's been twenty-four songs since I listened to Toothbrush, so I went to the park to rest. The community park is my favorite spot in this town: trees so green that every day it reminds me of new beginnings; the tweet of the birds that are a burst of the music of angels to my ears; the bloom of flowers that are so vivid and soothing in the sight. No place can ever compete in a park. It's been fifteen minutes when I took a rest in the park when I saw a very familiar little girl. She's alone again. I did not bother calling her because I just want to observe her playing and wandering here in the park. But our eyes met each other. She walks slowly towards me.

“Can I sit beside you?” she asked.

I nodded and I took my earphones.

“What are you doing here?” I asked her.

“What do you think so?” she said with an attitude.

I ignored her and I listened to some songs again. She was still wearing the red dress but it's no longer dirty.

“What does being happy mean to you?” she asked me. But I didn't hear it right so I told her to repeat her question while I'm keeping my earphones in my pocket.

“I said what does being happy mean to you? Don't let me repeat it okay?” she said, annoyed.

“Hmm let me think of it,” I said “Imagine having a doll but it's old and sort of ugly compared to what your friends have—a gorgeous and well-made doll. But you are still happy about what you have—not envious. You are satisfied with what you have. That's my definition of happiness” I added.

“So the person that committed suicide a while ago was not happy?” she asked melancholically.

I stared at her, shocked by what she said.

“How did you know that?” I asked her.

“Everyone is talking about her” she exclaimed.

I told her that sometimes there are problems that don't have solutions. Problems that will stay at your back until you raise your white flag. Just waiting for you to succumb to the temptation of defeat. And we cannot blame them for that, the universe may be against them but at least they fought. They were brave enough to swim towards a ranging current.

“Now let's hope that they finally achieved the happiness that this world never gave them,” I  said.

“Do you think that suicide is the answer?” she asked again.

“Let's say that depression is cancer and in every stage it gets terrible. But the fourth stage may be the door for them to escape the pain. We can't blame them for coming to that door.” I answered. 

“Yeah I think you're right,” she said.

“But don't misunderstand it. Some can escape but some also escape but in another way” I said.

“Also mental illnesses are not adjectives, never use that to describe a person. Okay?” I added.

“Yeah” she answered.

I told her that I'm going home. I also invited her to come but she denied the offer.

“What's your name by the way?” she asked.

I look back and answered.

“I'm nobody special”