Today was the day. I didn't want to get up, but I had to for Louis. This day was for him. I prepared a speech, but I don't know if I am going to say it.
My mom drove us to the church. Her hand rested on mine the whole ride. Everyone was wearing black when I got there. I was wearing black, except for my bracelet. It was the Leeds bracelet that I got with Louis. I haven't taken it off since we went. It gives me comfort because I feel that he is still with me when I look down at it.
I walked in and saw the boys. They all gave me a weak smile, as if they knew what was going through my mind. I don't want to be here. I just want to hold Louis.
The time came for me to do my speech. I couldn't do it. I motioned for Zayn to go up and do his instead. Everyone was looking at me as tears rimmed my eyes. I slowly nodded in defeat and look down to my shoes. I wish I was strong enough to get up and tell everyone how much I loved Louis. I wish I could tell them about how he made my heart race when he would say my name, and how he would sing me my favorite song every night to fall asleep. I'm not strong enough to do that.
I just hope i'm strong enough to listen to Zayn.
