anxiety and what comes with living the life I have

Background

I was always a happy girl growing up. Never cried, never sad or anything. However that all changed when I started understanding the world a little better, and came to understand why my family was so broken and sad. My father was and is an alcoholic.
I always found other ways so tell people how I felt, like when I had so bad stomach pains I had to go and check it out.

My mother worked night shifts every tuesday night and every time, he would be drunk out his mind in the house. And EVERYTIME I had to almost carry him to bed (which was in my room so I had to sleep in my moms bed) It was very hard, and no one told my mom, not me and not my brothers.
Later in my life I then started developing an eating disorder, and my mom blamed my dad, when honestly, I just was obsessed with having control (12-13 Years old).

I did not know how to how to have a real friendship and always switched friend group, and now im not friends with anyone I knew from when I was younger. And always got in trouble (10-14 years)
Started smoking when I was 13 - 14 but I dont smoke anymore. Started drinking when I was 14.
Started talking to older guys online and loved it because again CONTROL! I was obsessed with it, and send them pictures of my body and what not.

Finally I started seeing a psychologist (14) but she was just not it for me, and I did not know how to talk to her, and she did not help me at all so she sent me higher up the system to a better psychologist and she was the best (16) she helped me so much and I started getting real friends also, who actually cared about me. I at the moment am still friends with those girls and they are amazing.
I got told that K was depressed and had crazy much anxiety, which I see see much in myself, however my depression got better with time, and now I only deal with anxiety.
Thank you for reading!
On this i write story times and a lot more stuff I have dealt with.
Again, thank you!