Was it love? Was it a hug? Was it just something so simple yet not ever given?
All i know is its something I'm sure would make me feel uneasy..
I do remember as a kid, I was always told not to cry.. Not to act baby like in any way...
"Don't show people your crying!!! They will all think you are weak!!! Mind your manners! Don't get dirty!!" Yet till this day i don't see his face... Really all i see is a shadow formed somewhere in the room..
Even now if i try to see my father's face.... Its blank...Dark... Missing...
Until now that i sit here reading all these words that are fighting to get onto this draft... I really didn't realize how fucked up i really am...
Its sad really.. To go through life and never missing someones hugs or affection...
But hey if you ever need a person to tear someones heart out or rip their flesh to the bone?? I'm your girl...
Who needs to feel anything human like anyways... I've never missed it before ....
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