I love you. Yet this love wasn't meant to be. We both knew it. We knew that being so close won't last. Things would end one day. Though, who can expect such turn of events? I knew that my heart was weak, but I still proceeded. Maybe, I had a death wish back then. Or maybe it was the opposite, that only then, when I felt alive?
You were always there, available, warm and ready for it. How can I control myself? So, the first time, I said to myself, it will be just this time. I was a foolish woman. I was deceiving myself and I knew it. Just once? It soon become a custom. I didn't take much precautions. I didn't protect my heart from you. I opened myself too soon. Then, it was necessary to do it each day. I didn't resist any longer. I let myself go so easily. It was chemistry.
At the beginning, I thought that if I took you once in a while, we can still say it was casual right? When I first told people about you, I said to them it is nothing serious yet, but they noticed the change. When it was obvious that you will stay, some of them approved, some others don't. My family still didn't accept you, but I persevered.
My feelings grew deeper, but as everything in this world, things changed.
Anyways,
My dear cup of coffee. It is time for us to be apart, for a while at least. Until we go back to the office, until this nightmare ends, until drinking from you in public will be normal again.
I miss you so much, when the aroma of freshly brew coffee flooded my office every morning. Your sour taste, your black color, your scent that lasted for a long time in my mouth and the energy and happiness that it brought into my day.
However, I mostly miss the person that brew the coffee, his kind smile, his beautiful voice and his good advice. I wonder if he knows how much joy he brought with a simple act. Seeing me worried and giving me a cup of coffee. I couldn't tell him "no, I don't drink coffee". I accepted and hummed in appreatiation and the rest was a story that still warms my heart in the cold and lonely days.
We made good friends, soon, there were not only just the two of us. Little by little more came, little by little it upgraded. You had more friends, more cups from different sizes, the cups of the rest of team, the different donations of coffee. The coffee machine that we bought.
The cups of coffee outside of the office accompanied by pastries and sweets. My dear cup, it is true. I drunk in more cups, but most of them were disposable I swear! Well not all of them, but I didn't came back to the same twice, or so I think... I can't recall all of them in these years. Specially, if alcohol was involved. Yeah, I am a bit shameless. I never hided it. If it serves as a consolation, I mostly went out with him.
I never told you how I felt about you, how much you meant. No matter the distance. No matter the time. Maybe in the future, when happier times come, we can be together again.
Have a good night
