Mafia Baby

Chapter 36

*Hoseok pov*
The next few days for everyone was pretty calm in my eyes but I knew that was just a front to keep me happy. Some of the boys had forced smiles on their faces but I decided not to call them out on it, everyone was already sad enough. I continued to smile and laugh like nothing happened to me but on the inside I didn't feel like normal. I felt sad that I was getting looks of pity from my boyfriends and friends. I didn't want that. They treated me like I was a piece of glass and I hated it. When I went to sleep, I could hear the voices of everyone in the room talking in hushed whispers as they thought I was sleep. I didn't really pay much attention to what they were saying because I know it had to be about me. It was 11:00pm. It was my last night in the hospital and I was "sleep" at the time. I evened out my breathing to make sure they all believed I was asleep before I listened to everyone closely for the first time since they started these conversations.

"We can't have Hoseok keep doing this" an exasperated voice said but I want sure who it was.

"I understand that you're all worried about him but this isn't the first time this happened. Do you forget who we are and what we do?" I heard Mark's soft voice whisper to the other boys in the room.

"I get that but he's still our boyfriend and team member at the end of the day. I would much rather leave him out of missions rather than take him with us if he will just keep getting hurt" the raspy, deep voice of Yoongi spoke up next.

I held back the urge to scoff by pretending to get in a more comfortable position. The room got silent as I shifted into a more comfortable spot before going still again. The talking didn't continue for a few minutes after that but then someone else spoke up.

"Our boyfriend's got into this business for a reason. Wouldn't it be too heartless to take them out of something they've done for years?" JB spoke up making me crack my eyes open.

Luckily all the guys were now facing away from me since I turned over so I can stop pretending to be sleep.

"I love Hobi too much and seeing him hurt like this hurt me. I don't want anything else to happen to him" Jungkook spoke up with his horse voice.

Now that got me furrowing my eyebrows. Jungkook was the one that was all for me joining their team and being apart of missions. Hell, he's one of the reasons I'm in Japan right now! My eyes watered and I bit my lip. I couldn't help but to feel weak when my boyfriends didn't even want me to join them in missions. I had to be weak right? Was I too much of a hassle for them? A few tears slipped down my face and I couldn't take it anymore, I had to get out of this room and just take a breath. I turned my head slightly to see that the boys were still whispering to each other but I tuned them out. I sat up in the bed slowly with my tears steadily falling down my face, blurring my vision. I looked at the boys with hurt in my eyes before I could feel myself become numb. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and reached for my crutches silently. I stood up and silently walked towards the door. I made sure to slam the door open and looked back at the boys one last time and they looked surprised. My eyes were full of hurt before more tears fell down my face and I started walking away as fast as my crutches would let me. I didn't know where I was going but a walk around the hospital should help calm my mind a bit. I was glad that no one followed me because I wasn't sure what I would have done or said. I looked at my surroundings as I walked down each corridor just so I can remember where I'm at and how to get back to my room. I don't know how long I was walking around but my right leg was starting to get sore so I made my way back to my room. When I got back, the room door was still open and I sighed to myself. I stayed outside for a few more minutes before walking back into the room with my eyes trained to the floor. I felt everyone's eyes on me so instead of walking back to the bed, I made a detour for the bathroom and locked myself inside. I set my crutches against the wall before gripping the sink and looking into the mirror. The swelling in my face went down significantly and I was glad for that but the longer I looked into the mirror, an image I tried to forget popped into my head.

*Flashback*
I looked into the mirror as the seniors of my school decided to beat me up again because of the outfit I was wearing. I guess today wasn't a good day to wear my favorite oversized orange sweater because they completely ruined it.

"How am I going to hide this from mom and dad?" I muttered to myself while looking at the many rips in the sweater.

I didn't want to bother them with my problems because then they will tell the school and they will come after me. The sad part is, I never learned the names of the people that were bullying me. They would call me horrible names and degraded me until I felt like I was nothing but I couldn't do anything. I was too weak. I couldn't even defend myself.

'Pathetic' a voice said in my head.

I gripped at the sides of my hair but still continued to stare at myself in the mirror.

'Worthless slut' another voice said but harsher.

I started shaking my head, trying to get the voices to stop but they just kept attacking me.

'You'll be nothing but a hole to fuck' another voice spat at me.

"Stop please.." I whispered out weakly with tears streaming down my face.

The voices didn't stop but they just kept spatting more degrading things in my head and I was starting to believe them.

"Stop... stop... STOP!!" I screamed

*End of flashback*

I looked into the mirror before breathing harsher. The voices from my high school years came back in full swing as I gripped my hair hard into my small hands, close to pulling it out. I back away from the mirror, completely forgetting that my foot is broken and I fell hardly onto the floor. I'm pretty sure everyone outside heard it since I hit the ground pretty hard but I was lost in my own thoughts. The voices were the only thing I heard.

"Stop... stop... STOP!!" I screamed as my breath became harsher.

This was one of my most worst panic attacks. I haven't had one this bad since high school. As I was breathing, I heard what sounded like multiple people banging on the door. I wanted to get up but I was glued to the floor. More tears streamed down my face as I continued to pull and hit on my head with my hands. The voices were getting louder and louder.

"STOP... STOP... STOP!!" I kept screaming repeatedly but the banging on the door just became more frantic and loud.

My sobs at some point became painfully loud with high pitched screams coming out every once in a while. I couldn't hear anything anymore and I was just stuck in my own thoughts. I was only brought out of my head when a gentle hand placed itself on my shoulder. I flinched and looked over with blurry eyes. There were 3 nurses and a doctor by my side but I just panicked more. I backed myself more into the wall as they tried to comfort me but I couldn't hear them at all. Suddenly, I felt my breathing slow down and my heart rate decreased. I looked at the door of the bathroom and noticed a few more nurses keeping my friends and boyfriends from looking inside the bathroom. I made eye contact with Taehyung before I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head and the world became dark around me.

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Hey guys!! I finally put a part of Hoseok's background in the story so that you can all get a glimpse of why he's the way he is. I hope you are all enjoying the story so far and have a good day/night😁

Until next time~
~Author A✨