Paying For College Ain't For Sissies - Short Story

Preparation

"So tonight I'll ask you, the stars above, 'How did I ever win your love?', what did I do, what did I say, to turn your angel eyes my way......"

I shove my head down deeper in a failed attempt to smother out the unwanted morning racket. My ear collides with the warm curve of his bicep and I try to fold myself into the contour of his body. Waves of chills course through me and I clutch my body tight. I. Hate. Winter.

My roommates thought I was joking when I said that I was either getting an electric blanket or finding someone to sleep in my bed every night. In an effort not to hit whore status (that title is currently reserved for roommate number one), I went with the electric blanket but, it shorted out two nights ago and I am flippin' freezing here. Hence my current bed situation.

I open my eyes to slits just in time to see him fumbling with the snooze button on his phone. That was when I knew that this whole sleeping together thing wasn't going to work out. There are several things I don't trust; vegetarians, people who drive electric cars, girls who ring their eyes completely in black eyeliner, people who think the "5 second" rule is real, and most importantly, people who hit the goddamn snooze button in the morning. Ugh. I don't have time to look for a new bed warming buddy with midterms coming up. This will significantly cut into my...

ALIIINNNGGGG, ALIIINNNGGGG, ALIIINNNGGGG!

A loud shrilling sound cuts across my thoughts and I spring from the teal tie-dye down comforter and away from my only heat source. Immediately I thrust out my arms looking for it, groping around in vain. A pale pink Pillow Pet pig flies from the bed and slams into a week's worth of dirty laundry piled on the floor. I can't find it and my movements are becoming more erratic to the point where I slam my wrist against the wall. My heartbeat is becoming rapid. I can't take it anymore. The world is coming to an end.

ALIIINNNGGGG ALIIINNNGGGG ALIIINNNGGGG!

A cool hand presses against my back and a hoarse voice whispers in my ear, "What's wrong Evie?" Is he joking? I cannot dignify this with an answer. The sound is so overwhelming.

ALIIINNNGGGG ALIIINNNGGGG ALIIINNNGGGG!

Then something magical happens. Sam reaches up, snags my evil shrilling phone off the headboard and brings it back down to my padded jail cell. I am in a slow motion film sequence; his pointer finger is extending toward the snooze button. I can't tell you exactly what my face looks like at this moment but I can only imagine it's twisted in horror as if I am watching someone drop kick a puppy. I react instinctively. This is a fight or flight situation and I have to fight. I seize the shiny pink rectangle and drag my finger across the screen to permanently silence it. WHAT THE HELL? I can't believe that he was going to hit the snooze and make us experience that horrible nightmare again. I am on my back staring up at my cosmic galaxy ceiling mural that I painted last fall. This usually calms me down. My heart rate slows with each beat and rational thoughts begin to return to me. No. Nope. Not happening. I like Sam, especially his arms, but if I have to go through this every morning, I will be dead before my next birthday.

"I got to go," I say kind of frankly as I start to sit up. It's an important day and I have to be in peak condition. This clearly equates to coffee and a shower in my mind. Sitting up isn't exactly what happens though. It's more like trying to emerge from a fluffy ocean. Instantaneously, boa constrictors snake out, wrap around my torso and pull me back to the scratchy 150 thread count matching sky blue tie-dye sheets. Great... I managed to bring home a stage 5 clinger. The roomies are going to die when I tell them this story later. I wonder how much it will cost to fix my electric blanket. Clearly it will be worth it at this point. I must escape. I must make my meeting because my graduation hinges on this morning. I try to shimmy out of Sam's embrace but his arms just tighten.