A Life Worth Maybe Living

Goodbye Sister

I sat on the edge of your bed, holding your hand. How I missed your laugh... Your smiles.. The warmth my heart filled with every time you said my name. I listened to the soft and steady "beep, beep, beep" of the machine which was connected to you. The machine which determined your life. I tear fell down my cheek as I realized... You where no longer with me. You probably don't remember this but you have been in a coma for quite a while now.. Almost a week to be exact. The doctors want to shut off your machine. Your life sorce, but I keep asking them to keep waiting. I keep telling them you will live, because I know you wouldn't die on me. You won't let you, you can't. Laura you can't leave me in this cold and terrifying world all by myself, you can't leave so soon. I looked up and saw a straight blue line across the monitor. You see, I didn't even hear the "beeps" turn into one lone "beeeep" I looked down at you. You looked the same but I felt no pulse in your hand. After a while your hands started to get cold as did my heart. I wouldn't let the doctors take you away. I wouldn't let them take me away. But after a while of dragging and pulling they finally took me out the room. I could feel something wet covering my face. Tears? Yes, I had been crying for over and hour now. Even though your in a large black bag, I still love you. Even though your heart beats no longer and your eyes shall never open again. I still find your heart beautiful And your eyes bright and full of life. I sit here in my bed, holding my own hand pretending it's still yours. But my hand is warm, while yours are cold. I hold my hand tighter, but I feel a pulse, which is something you no longer have. Laura if you can hear my thoughts. I still love you. I will always love you even if your in a deep dark hole. Even if a large stone reads " Here lies, Laura Kate Idol. 1999-2014, Beloved Sister of Jack and Daughter to Belle and Harris" I will still love you just the same. Or if the letters R I P are written so large than it hurts me, I'll carry your name with me. I love you forever and always little Sis