All Shook Up

I can't seem to stand on my own two feet

Just kiss me already, I thought.

"Amy!"

I startled and Angus stepped back, looking regretful. Ivy was standing at the door with a shit-eating grin. 

"We gotta go now. Our ride is here," she said, walking towards us.

Oh, of course, now we gotta head out.

"Give me a moment?" I asked, tilting my head towards Angus.

She went on grinning, which was all I needed to see to know how much teasing I was going to get when we got back to her room. With a wiggle of her brows, she agreed to give me a second and went back inside.

I turned back to Angus, frowning, and doing my best to not feel disappointed.

"Suppose I should give you back your jacket," I said, about to take it off when he stopped me, placing his hands on mine.

"Consider it an excuse for me to come see you again. If you want, that is." He gave me a little nervous smile and I knew I was screwed.

"I do." And we grinned at each other like idiots. He squeezed my hands and I considered trying to kiss him again.

"Can you meet me here, tomorrow?"

I nodded my head. I heard Ivy shout my name, and Angus released my hands.

"Better go join her," he said, no sign of that smile leaving him and something about that made me feel warm inside. Maybe it was because I felt responsible for it being there. I certainly hoped that I was. "I'll be seeing you. How does noon sound?"

"Noon sounds great," I replied as I started walking towards the door. When the door closed behind me, a bubble of giggles rose up from my chest and I was helpless to stop them. That's how Ivy saw me, giggling like a schoolgirl against the door.

"Was the kiss that good?"She asked, pulling me along until we out front and she let me go to get into her mom's car.

"I'm seeing him tomorrow," I said before she opened the door. We were both wearing excited grins the whole ride back to her place. Her mom figured that it was because of the concert, and I suppose there was some truth in that assumption.

********

My last night self was definitely an idiot. An idiot who didn't think about how their future self was obligated to deal with the previous night's decisions. Oh, no, of course, the decision to meet up with Angus at noon today sounded brilliant last night because at the time I was only thinking about how soft his hair looked, among other things. Now that he wasn't here, well, like I said, the decision seemed very dumb. And silly.

"Why did I say yes?" I groaned, staring down at my coffee cup.

"Because you think he's cute," Ivy sang, joining me at the breakfast counter. "And you kissed him."

"Almost. Almost kissed him. If you hadn't interrupted-"

Her eyebrows raised. "I gave you an extra ten minutes when I saw you walk out with him. I had to call my mom. She was already getting worried."

I sipped my coffee and thought of the way Angus had looked at me, and I wondered how many other girls he had looked at in the same way. How many others has he tried to kiss? I absolutely refused to believe that I was the first or the last. Last night I decided not to care about that, but as we've established, last night me wasn't thinking. It was up to present me to clean the mess, and to stop wondering about what it would've been like to kiss him because it wasn't going to happen.