You Just Get Me

(1)

So... how's it going?
You can talk... right.
Sorry I forget that sometimes.
Anyway.
My day was cool I guess.
Kinda lame since we couldn't hang out.
I'm gonna pretend you asked what I wanted to do with you. I planned on a romant — er — a normal picnic like the ones they had in the 50's. I'm obsessed with that time period.
God I'd love to play a record with you sometime.
Are you responding out loud or in your head... or just uhm not at all?
The last one would make me really sad,n-not that you would care though.
Not like we're friends.
Are we?
Are we friends?
I'd love to be closer with you but uh you don't have to.
I think you're really pretty. Even if I can't see you.
Do you know what I look like?
Think I said something about it earlier but a gentleman wouldn't make you go back that far.
I'm not very tall sadly. I have brown eyes and dumb curly hair.
You'd think it was dumb too if you could see it. It never stays down.
I hope you're not trying to raise my self confidence.
Are you?
I'm crossing my arms by the way...
Remember when I called you pretty? I'm just thinking about what you look like.
Do you think—
Uh nevermind.
...
...
Do you think I'm pretty? Or attractive cause I'm a dude.
Why did I lower my voice like that? Is this toxic masculinity?
Uh oh.
Anyway. Do you?
I think you'd find me ugly. A lot of people say that about me. So you can say it too.
Go ahead.
Okay. Done? Good.
...
What's your favorite show?
Really? Mine too!
...
Is that offensive? Cause I imagined you said Star Wars the Clone Wars.
I'm a nerd. Yeah...
Sorry about that. Should have said something cool like...
The Terminator.
But man I hate horror so much. It makes me sick.
I get nauseous when I'm scared.
My brother won't shut up about it. I puked all over my costume on Halloween when he scared me...
Do you like horror movies?
...
I hope you said no. Bu-but you can. I just really really don't. Oh look at that I can italicize things.
You're really really cool.
Like that.
Awesome right.
Sorry I'm so cheesy.
But cheese is cool. Right?
Unless you're lactose intolerant.
Why do I keep saying cool? Is it annoying?
Sorry. People tell me I'm annoying all the time.
...
Now I'm being annoying by talking about how sad I am.
Not-not that I'm sad.
God. I'm so bad at talking to people.
...
Did I ever introduce myself?
I'm so dumb. Why are you even staying here?
It's Roan by the way...
People like to ask where I'm rowing to.
You can leave you know. Like whenever you want.
I'm boring.
If you stay I might start talking about why I'm upset.
And I don't wanna ruin the mood.
Again.
Look, a bolded word.
...
You can go. It's okay. I don't mind.
People leave me all the time.
...
...
You're still here?
Uhm. Okay then.
Can I ask why?
Right... You can't respond.
Soooooo. What's up with you?
How'd you find me as a matter of fact?
I don't think I have a cover or anything. And it's not like the background of the black words is attractive. So why're you here?
Why are any of us here?
Sorry. Didn't mean to get so existential.
I mess up a lot.
My mom called me a mistake once.
...
And I'm ruining the mood again.
I wish you could talk about yourself more. And I could hear it. I bet you sound nice. Like an angel.
I know we talk about angels being super cool but what if they sound horrific? That would be funky.
Ew. Did I say funky? What year is it? Think we've been transported to the 80s.
...
That wasn't funny at all.
Sorry.
I just love thinking about living in other time periods. They sound so cool. Minus all of the prejudice and racism but that's only a little part of it.
...
Again not a funny joke.
I always get told my humor is horrible.
Do you agree?
Mhm.
Thought so.
...
I want a hug really bad right now. I don't get a lot.
I sound like a baby but I just want to be held by someone.
I'd like it if it were you...
Is that creepy?
Sorry if it is.
Don't think I was hugged enough as a child.
Sorry. Uh let's talk about something happy? Hm.
What's your favorite food?
I know you can't say anything but I'll pretend.
...
Mmm. Sounds yummy.
I like pasta.
It's simple but good.
I have this weird thing with textures. And pasta doesn't bother me.
I get called a baby because of it.
They just make me really upset.
Like crunchy foods!!
Ughhhhh. It makes me shaky and stuff.
Do you get like that?
...
No? Just me?
Yeah had a feeling.
This is getting kinda long huh?
Are you bored yet?
Sounds like that tik tok audio...
Forget I said that.
Forget it.
...
Forgotten? Thanks.
Soooo.
...
I'm running out of ideas. I'm being drained of energy like a wrung out rag.
My creativity is like a piece of sandpaper. Which I HATE the texture of by the way.
Oh shit I can make words bigger.
Sorry...
It's not very nice to uh swear. I was just excited. I'm calm now.
...
Sorry again. I don't normally do that. You make me excited is all.
Am I being creepy again?
I'm really sorry.
You're just so cool.
I keep saying just cause it's my filler word.
Is it annoying for me to keep apologizing?
I was gonna apologize again but uhm... yeah.
...
It's supposed to end soon.
...
Can I say one thing?
It's just that I really—