"I buy you all this food and you still won't suck my dick?" I overhear from the table 6 feet away from me. It's 10 o'clock on a Tuesday night. The usual loudness of the day simmered down like the remaining stuck fragments of meat on the constantly burning stovetops of Jae's Korean BBQ. The lateness changed the mood of the restaurant into a green-like, hazy absinthe bar vibe. There were only a few of us left dining in the restaurant. Laughter immediately erupted from the same table, which for a moment filled the quiet space and changed the color of the restaurant into a lovely, orange hue. I look over at their direction in envy. I get up to say goodbye to the staff I've come to be familiar with before heading out. The cool autumn breeze felt nice against my burning cheeks. I didn't get very far when I heard someone running from behind me. "Gin you can't just drink an entire bottle of red soju and walk home by yourself". The voice that was scolding me belonged to Ren. For the moment, the dimly lit street hid his angelic face and all I saw was his tall, dark outline. I just smiled and giggled helplessly as the alcohol numbed my body. He grabbed my hand. I held onto his arm and we started to walk. Along the way, whenever we were briefly under a streetlight, I would sneak glances up at him. He was pretty. The bleached ends of his wavy, black hair softly bounced with every step we took. I wondered when he got so beautiful. I felt like the walk was sobering me up but the thought of Ren's beauty perplexed me and continued to make my cheeks burn in an embarrassed kind of way. "You should go back. You're still on the clock". I let go of my grasp of him. He quickly held my hand again, more firmly than before. "I told them I'm taking my 15". We arrived at the front of my place. He turned away from me, without him ever meeting my eyes and got a running start before jogging all the way back to Jae's. I watched him until he disappeared at the corner of the road.
I don't get hungover with soju but whenever Ren has to walk me home, he comes the next morning with a liter of water and pho soup from my favorite Vietnamese restaurant. Last night came back to me. I thought about how my heart raced a little bit as I held onto him for support. I thought about his long, slender fingers intertwined with mine. It was like a dream. I quickly got up and panically put myself together.
A few minutes later Ren arrived. "Gin, I'm here". I opened the door and stood to the side so that he could enter, but he just held up a brown paper bag. "You're not coming in?". I was surprised he was just standing there. Ren looked uncomfortable; "No, see ya". And with that reply he handed me the bag and left. I stepped out, as to follow him, but all I managed to do was yell out thank you as he walked away. I closed the door and went to the kitchen to open the bag. It was a liter of water and pho soup.
After work I went back to Jae's. I wanted to make sure Ren was okay. Him coming and going like that in the morning was unsettling to me. I realized I didn't really know what Ren did outside from working all of the time. Aside from his extraordinary looks he was actually a dull and simple guy. I thought what I knew was everything about him. I was about to open the door to Jae's when the sudden thought of him maybe being mad at me crossed my mind. Was he maybe growing tired of me? My hand wavered and fell back to my side. I decided to just wait outside until his shift ended.
I didn't know exactly how long I was waiting there, but I watched as the city slowed down around me. I almost missed Ren walking past me. I reached for his arm and he shuddered with the sudden surprise touch. I laughed nervously, "Sorry I scared you". He relaxed as soon as he saw that it was me. "Gin what are you doing here?". He looked at me directly for the first time in a while. His eyes were the same. I was so relieved.
His eyes were the same as that day. Like when he first realized he liked me.
"I just wanted to walk you home for once! It's not fair you're the one always taking care of me!". His eyes smiled at me. I held onto him tighter. We walked for a while in silence. The night was warm for an autumn night. The world was blue beneath the moonlight. I let go of Ren and fell behind in pace. I saw him for the first time in that moment. Seeing his back as he walked in front of me was different than the other times I looked at it as he was leaving. This time it felt like I wanted to follow him forever. I ran over to walk alongside him again. His long hair fell to the sides as he looked up at the sky. Ren broke the silence: "It feels like summer". I stopped walking and he turned around to look at me. He tucked one side of his hair behind his ears. He was pretty. I looked directly into his eyes like in a romance movie; "The moon is pretty, isn't it?". He got it right away. He was on the verge of laughing, but stopped himself. "Right, the moon is pretty".
