The Model

Ch.9 - A Love Like No Other

"Earth to Mina!" Renée waves her hands in my face. I blink and look at my boss. She's wearing a bright red blazer and a pencil skirt. Her black heels click the floor as she walks around her desk, sitting on the edge, facing me.

"I'm sorry, what is it you said?" It's been a week. A whole week since I've seen Elliott and not a word from her or Erika. I have to assume they've moved to another city to shoot.

"You've been doing that a lot lately, haven't you?" She asks and I just have to shrug.

"What was it you said?" I ask looking at her and then the Vogue magazine on her desk.

"Well, Vogue published your article the other day and I just got the magazine. What you wrote was amazing to say the least." Renée smiles, looking at me with worried eyes.

"How many reviews was it given?" I ask and reach over to the magazine.

"You know, I don't know what happened in Ventura but whatever it was, didn't help you at all. You do your articles just fine and everyone still loves you but you seem ... hollow," Renée frowns and I just can't help but sigh.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just, my mom called during the vacation. She said Clarke is doing worse than usual and I just don't want to go back there." I lie. A complete lie. Clarke was never in good shape until he found so,e dream job that he got to travel and since then, he's been perfect. I just don't want her to pry right now. Not when I don't have my stuff together.

"I'm so sorry. Do you want to take a few days off? The firms a little slow I mean you can go home early, take a break?" She suggests but I shake my head.

"I have nothing to do so I don't see why Id go home early." I protest and Reneé runs her fingers through her hair.

"Well, why don't you come over to my place? The wife is cooking dinner and we'd love to have you here," she says with a genuine smile

"I can't intrude," I protest again but her hand raises up to stop me.

"When was the last time you had a decent meal?" She asks and I frown. I don't remember when the last time it was that I had a decent meal. Renée groans and nods her head.

"It's official, you're dining with us and you won't back out." Renée gives me that look that I have to join. I nod my head and sigh. I know I can't deny her or she may threaten to cut my pay. She can't legally do that, but the threat enough makes me not want to diss her.

"Fine. What time." I sigh and stand. I don't show it, but I get dizzy for a moment. I lean on the chair casually but I can feel my eyes hurting.

"Seven, okay?" She has concern etched on her beautiful face. I just nod and leave. It's close to five and I'm relieved. I want to go home. I return to my desk though and finish up the last paragraph of the rough draft I'll edit tomorrow.

My mind goes to the autopilot mode and as much as I want to engross myself in this, my mind isn't into it and my heart is somewhere locked away. Dramatic and pathetic and sad and stupid.

Dramatic.

Pathetic.

Sad.

Stupid.

Four simple words that hit you hard without much effort. I roll my eyes and get to work.

~~~~

"Mina! I'm so glad you made it! Renée and I were worried you wouldn't." Carrie embraces me. Her smile is genuine care and I can't help but smile back.

"Yeah, I uh brought some wine. I didn't know if you both liked red. I mean it's a really good wine." I smile and show her. She smiles taking it and hugs me again.

"How thoughtful! Renée! She got us some wine!" She smiles and takes my hand, pulling me into the kitchen. Renée is still dressed from the day's work and turns to embrace Carrie who's released me. They kiss and I look away for a moment. It reminds me of the intimacy between Erika and I and it makes me sad for some reason.

"Make yourself comfortable, were almost done." Renée smiles and Carrie gets three plates. I help with the silverware and place napkins.

"She told me about how you've been feeling funny lately. Was it something that happened in Ventura?" Carrie asks out of earshot of Renée.

"Yeah, but don't tell her. I said it was a family issue." I smile a little, the pain hitting my heart pretty hard. Pathetic.

"It's ok. There was a time when Renée gave me mixed signals. She didn't know what to choose and she chose me. She just needed time." Carrie smiles. I open my mouth to say something but Renée walks in.

"Darling, oh good, you got the wine out already." Renée gives Carrie a kiss and we all take a seat.

In the back of my mind, while great dinner conversation is made, in the back of my mind, I can't help but think about Erika. Everyone is telling me to give it time. Everyone is understanding as if they know exactly how I feel. They sound like they do and yet I can't help but think that the conversation from that night, Erika and I won't be talking ever again.

"So Mina, how is my darling wife at work? I hear she's a real brute," Carrie teases Renée as their chairs are scooted together, facing me with adoration for each other in their eyes.

"Yeah, she can be. But I'm the only one that can face her without being terrified." I laugh and it sounds forced but real at the same time. They both laugh too while I look at the time.

"Well, it is pretty late, I'm going to head home." I stand and they stand too, looking from each other and then to me.

"Well thank you for coming over," Renée walks me to the door as Carrie starts to clean up the table.

"Seriously, thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure to be with you both. Tell her thank you as well," I say and we embrace.

"Just let me know if you need a few days from work. You're my best worker and I don't mind if you take a break." Renée smiles, her thin fingers squeezing around my arms and rubs my arms up and down.

"Thank you, again." I smile with a nod and leave, hearing the door shut behind me. I take a few deep breathes as I walk down the pathway of their house. My car is parked out front. I hop in my car and drive home.

I am envious of a love like that. I want to love someone as much as they love each other and it's hard to understand that one person can be meant for someone and maybe they know it and maybe they don't. The universe plays cruel tricks on small people like me.

I finally make it home to my apartment and park in the parking lot. As I walk towards the steps, I fish for my keys. I stop at the top of the stairs and find them. It's so dark tonight with all the stars in the sky and the moon shining brightly.

One more flight of stairs and I am at my door. I keep my head up at the sky, mesmerized until I stop at the top of the stairs. When I've had my fill of the night sky, I look towards my door and under the moonlight, Erika stands with a jean jacket and beanie on.

"Hey," she whispers in the darkness.

"Hi." I breathe. My heart ultimately stopping.