One Lourdes Hall

Abandon All Hope...

The guard walked us towards the huge multi-bolt locked door at the end of the hall, waiting there, looming, like the gates of Hell. I was half-surprised that the inscription above the door didn't read: "ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE!" instead of "WARNING! HIGH ELOPEMENT RISK!" in bold, red letters. I didn't want to go, I change my mind, I didn't need this. I'll just deal with it like I always have...

And then she grabbed my hand. That's all it took to resolve myself. I looked to my right to see hazel-green eyes staring back at me, before they buried into my arm. I was going to do this. I had to do this... I squeezed back and put my arm around her.

When we reached the door, the guard turned to us and waited there. At our looks of confusion, he replied simply "This is where you say goodbye." Six words that would keep us apart for longer than I expected. She started to tear up before holding her arms out for a hug and burying her face in my chest. She shook and trembled and I could only imagine how hard this must've been for her.

"I love you, okay? And they're going to help you and you are going to get  so much better and-" I pressed my lips to hers and tried to put on my best smile. "I love you too, Elizabeth..." I said, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "I'll be just fine. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"Mhm..." 

My mom was there too and I hugged her too. I didn't realized what a thin frame she had and I wondered if my dad was about my size. "I love you too..." She held my face in her hands, which were also incredibly thin. "Be good and don't get into any fights, alright?"

"Oh c'mon, Mom." She was really trying to baby me now? "When's the last time, I've ever been in a fight?"

"Well, you never know..." I pulled her in for another long hug before going to my suitcase. I was ready... No matter what I was about to get myself into, I was ready to take the plunge.

I pulled the handle up on the suitcase and started to move it towards the 'Mouth of Hell' before looking back one last time. My mom was crying, but she was trying to put on a smile for me... Elizabeth had her head down and her eyes on the ground...

I took two steps to close the distance between us and lifted her chin to look in her eyes, hoping she could understand what I was doing this for. She nodded and I nodded back before pulling her in for a dramatic hug and kiss. 'Kinda like the movies, right?' I thought to myself before whispering in her ear and rubbing my thumb over her hands.

"I'm doing this because I love you. Trust me, you're worth it..."

I held the embrace a little bit longer before finally letting go. I had to let go or I wouldn't have left then. I still could've turned around and walked out the doors into the sunlight. I grabbed my suitcase signaling for the guard to unlock the door. It stood open like a cavernous mouth ready to devour anyone stupid enough to walk in. 

I took a last look behind me and saw Elizabeth standing there, shaking. I didn't want to leave her... I  smiled a huge grin and winked at  her before moving forward.

And that was the last time I walked through that door in nearly a week.