This was just this morning. I woke up, and saw a nest of thousands of bald eagles being sheltered at the foot of my bed. A bright light comes down, and I see an American flag, with a golden voice saying Murica, fuck yeah! And then trump comes from the light and floats above the eagles, which rise up and perch on his shoulders. He then recites the pledge of allegiance, the National Anthem, and the declaration of independence. He then showers me with dollar bills, and throws a red MAGA hat on me. I feel the sudden surge of capitalism and freedom flow through my veins. I walk over to my gun cabinet and pull out my favorite pistol, the golden desert eagle, with an engravement of a buff George Washington on it. I shoot it in the air to the rhythm of star spangled banner, and I manage to hit a russian spy plane, which crashes into a firework factory and launches thousands of fireworks into the sky. Then Jesus himself comes down from the sky and whispers into my ear that I must manifest as much destiny as I can. I love the sound of the voice. I start to fly over New York City. I think about the one thing I would never forget. Osama bin laden is right below me. I do a roundhouse kick to the jaw and knock him out with my amazing kung-fu. He then dies of embarrassment. ISIS surrenders. All of the sudden, it starts raining pure gold, I feel as if im hallucinating, but i'm not. After all, it is the 4th of July. I smell the scent of a backyard barbeque, and fall asleep with a full stomach on a lawn chair, right after checking my stock portfolio. Man, I love living in the U.S.A!
