Waiting (A CastielxOC story)

"What the hell is this?!" Dean yelled out in a vigorous fit as he threw the plastic container containing a somewhat flacid salad on the ground of the convience store parking lot.

I frowned at him immediately.

"I didn't mean to upset you Dean... I just thought maybe you would appreciate the healthy alternative to those bacon burgers and donuts and pies you eat all the time." I took a few steps away from him as he kicked the now dented container across the parking lot.

"And did you ever stop to think maybe I like those unhealthy alternatives to that health crap?! Huh?! You've been with us for a whole year now and you still can't do a damn thing right!" I flinched as he grabbed the twenty dollar bill I was holding out to him and watched as he stomped into the convience store.

"And for a guy who just got out of hell, he's still unappreciative." Sam sighed as he leaned up against the Impalla.

"He's just worried Sam. I mean how many seals are left until Lucifer breaks free? How many days do we have left until the world burns?" I also sighed as I kicked at a few rocks on the concrete pavement.

Sam just shook his head.

"But he always takes it out on you, like somehow this is your fault and it's not. It's not your fault you are who you are and it's not your fault Dean is the way he is. He's always seen things in black and white from day one." Sam gave me an apologetic look which in turn only made me feel more guilty than I already was.

I somehow knew this was all my fault regardless of what Sam told me. Castiel dumped me on the boys just so suddenly and left just as quickly. Now they had to drag me along and watch over me like Castiel said he once had. I couldn't keep up with them and I always felt like one big burden to them. I never could do anything right. As Dean would say, 'I was a limp Angel and an even worse demon.' I knew I couldn't outright control my demon powers and it seemed to me that my Angel powers didn't even exist but still, was I really totally useless? I sighed again knowing asking myself wouldn't get me the answers I wanted.

Dean came back almost immediately, carrying a grocery bag filled with cakes wrapped in plastic and boxed pies in one hand and another grocery bag filled with soda and energy drinks in the other hand. It was a wonder how he didn't have heart problems, high cholesterol and rolls of cellulite protruding off his body with all the fatty garbage he had consmed over the years. According to Sam, Dean had always eaten like that. Cakes, pies, burgers broiled in pig fat; it didn't matter, if it was unhealthy, it had Dean Winchester written all over it.

"Now this is what you call real food." He held both bags in the air while I spitefully was hoping one of them would split open and cause the contents of the bag to drop and spill all over the ground. Unfortunately, this didn't happen and with a long and over exaggerated sigh, I watched as Dean opened one of back doors to the Impalla, and placed the bags on the floor. He then shut the back door and proceeded to hop in the drivers side and stuck his head out the window.

"You lame asses coming or what?" Dean gave a smirk as he looked at Sam and then at me.

I watched Sam nod and get in the front without question, which in turn left me to get in the back, like usual. I sighed and quickly got into the back seat before Dean could give me another smart ass remark. I buckled up just as the Impalla roared to life and Dean turned up the radio to a song I had become very familiar with. It was called 'Highway to Hell' by this band called AC/DC. I thought they were alright but according to Dean they were quote on quote, "One of the best rock bands in history." Either way, I wasn't about to argue with him so I just tapped my foot along to the beat.

While Dean backed out of the still empty parking lot, I hoped that somehow today would be different and that maybe I wouldn't screw up yet another perfect chance to show Sam and Dean that I could in fact be helpful. But as Dean started to drive down that long stretch of treacherous road, I already could feel in my gut that today wasn't going to be good at all because with me around, nothing good could ever come about. And like usual, one way or another I would eventually find a way to muck things up.