I Need You

2

JJ sees you walking out of Hotch's office and it's clear something happened, she just doesn't know what yet. To be honest you don't either.

You're still obviously disheveled by the case but you can't stop thinking about how amazing it felt to finally be with Hotch, the way his arms felt around you, the way his lips melted perfectly into yours. But she can't know any of that, at least not yet.

Thinking more about the case doesn't make it hard to hide how good that last 20 minutes felt. You're quickly overwhelmed with possibilities again when you make it to JJ's desk. Your heart races as your whole body is shakes uncontrollably she looks at you worried asking whats going on.

You can't get a sentence out, you don't have see anything to know everybody's eyes are on you, luckily the rest of the team hasn't arrived yet or there would be a scene already. You love them but despite being some of the best profilers, they just don't understand you sometimes. You grab your go bag off her desk and motion toward the bathroom, with a quick nod from JJ you both walk toward it.

JJ understands your anxiety, she knows what it's like, how to help. You turn to the sink, splashing your face with cold water as she holds your hair back from getting wet. She helps you control your breathing until you can finally explain the case.

JJ asks how Hotch plans to handle it, she says it in a nicer way but basically asking why you're on this case.

You tell her what you told him but leave out requesting him as your partner, hopefully she'll just assume thats where you're needed.

She doesn't question it and leaves you to change before the rest of the team gets there, walking away after another worried glance and hug.

You take your workout clothes off swapping them for a black pencil skirt that falls just below your fingertips topped with a black button down and slightly heeled boots where your gun sits. As your mind drifts you can't stop thinking about your mother, what she would think about the case, what she would tell you. You feel your breakfast threatening to make an appearance, you lean against the bathroom wall closing your eyes tightly. Seconds later you're snapped out of your daze by a knock on the door followed by a low voice speaking as gently yet firmly as he can "y/n we are meeting in the round table in a few, how long do you think you'll be?" You quickly check yourself in the mirror before walking out quickly past your boss, avoiding eye contact so he doesn't see that you were on the verge of tears again, keeping your pace ahead of him you walk silently to the round table.

Arriving a few seconds before he does you sit next to Derrick and Reid purposefully blocking yourself from the eyeline of Hotch and JJ, seeing their worried glances might just make you burst into tears for what feels like the hundredth time today. Emily sends a questioning look your way, you usually sit by her but she doesn't say anything.

Garcia walks in, her concerned eyes immediately finding you as she starts walking in your direction but you quickly shake your head brushing her off. She gets your point and begins her spiel, "In not so lovely Utah...". Everyone gives you a concerned glace knowing what this case is for you, all you can do is keep your eyes glued down at the file until they all one by one look away. Soon Garcia finishes explaining the case and everyone else is silent until Hotch utters his usual trademark-"wheels up in 30".

You quickly stand up and are the first one out of the room but you hear Derrick behind you saying in a hushed but harsh tone "are we going to talk about this?" You assume he's gesturing toward you. Hotch waits a few seconds until he thinks you're out of earshot, you're not but he doesn't know that, he continues saying "it's figured out, don't push her" he shoots a glare at Morgan, "just act like its a normal case" Reid looks worried but gives an affirming nod, Morgan still looks annoyed, he hates how you deal with these things, JJ and Emily comfort Garcia, all she wants to do is take care of you but she knows how much you hate that kind of attention, Rossi just nods and retreats to his office. Eventually everyone splits up doing there own thing to getting ready to leave, glances thrown at you every once in a while, making sure you're okay.