accidental child acquisition

Notes:

This is pure crack

It was supposed to just be another normal day.

Granted, not a lot of things in Haru's life was 'normal'.

First of all, his partner was the one and only Kambe Daisuke, the richest man in the world and the most sought after bachelor.

Second, Haru chased after criminals for a living(and occasionally, he falls off bridges. Kambe is the worst partner ever.)

Third, said partner and his ex-partner, Hoshino Ryou, have been fighting a lot lately. Haru doesn't know why the two have suddenly decided to be rivals, but Haru feels like it has something to do with him. Kamei and Saeki have been making weird faces at him ever since he stopped Kambe and Hoshino from getting into a full-on brawl.

But none of those could compare to the situation Haru found himself in.

It was during a lunch break. Because of Kambe's demands and Hoshino's pleads, Haru had decided to actually pay attention to his health for once.

He decided to make himself some simple meals at home to bring to work. Of course, he made some Bentos for everyone else, since everyone seemed to like his cooking.

Today, he wanted everyone to try some food from his father's side. Adobo, which was a very delicious dish from the Philippines. Every foreigner he's seen has fallen in love with it and he's sure that the others will too.

He excitedly stares at them, waiting for their verdict.

Kamei is the first one to react, nearly squealing in delight and shoving his face into the container, "Katou-san, this is amazing!"

Hoshino simply sighed in content and sat back in his seat, "It really is."

Daisuke has been quiet, simply because he was too busy eating his food. But once he's done, he longingly looks at the empty container.

He turned to Haru, "Inspector, what is this dish called?"

Haru perks up in pride, "It's called Adobo! It'd from the Philippines. If you want, I can give the recipe to your chef!"

Daisuke would like it more if Haru would cook for him. Every single day. The thought of seeing Haru in an apron again was euphoric. The domestic feeling of coming home to someone.

He immediately returns Hoshino's competitive stare.

Haru, who was somehow oblivious to the sudden tenseness of the air, tilted his head, "How come you've never had Adobo before? I would have thought that a rich guy like you has tried everything before."

"Not enough time," Daisuke answered, "I regret that dearly. This is delicious."

"Wait until you try Sinigang or puto, you're going to love it-"

And then suddenly, the door to the office busted open.

Hoshino and Kambe were quick to move in front of Haru but were pushed aside by him as he checked to see who had broken down the door.

Then, in slow motion, he felt something collide with his chest.

Haru looked down in shock-

A child. A child with tanned skin, taupe hair, and blue eyes. His eyes were round and wide just like Katou's. But the nose looked eerily similar to Daisuke.

Haru immediately softened and wrapped his arms around the child, "Hello there, can I help-"

"Mama!" The child cried out and happily wrapped his arms around Haru's waist, "I found you!"

Haru just stared, absolutely dumbfounded.

To make matters worse, the child looked at Kambe and Hoshino and grinned, "Hi papas!"

It was supposed to be a normal day.

After that whole fiasco, they managed to sit the excitable child down. He would only listen to his "mama", staying put after Haru asked him to calm down.

"Hey there," Haru asked softly, "Can you tell us who your mama is?"

"What do you mean? You're my mama!"

Haru laughed, "What's your mama's name?"

"Haru Kambe née Hoshino. My mama fights bad guys and my papas do too."

Ryou and Daisuke gaped in shock. Haru had both of their names, did that mean-

Haru had the same thought but patiently pressed on, "What's your name?"

"Kambe Minami! But mama calls me Mimi-kun!"

"... Who are your papas?"

Minami pointed at the two men behind Haru, "Mama, they're right there!"

"... Where do you live?"

"In Japan, mama. Sometimes we go to England and the Philippines cus we have houses there too" Minami pouted, "Mama, are you hurt? Why can't you remember?"

Haru nodded, "Okay, okay. Mama's sorry. I just have a few more questions."

He took a breath, "Do you have any siblings?"

"Itaru-nii and Hoshi-nii."

"How do they look like?"

"Uh.. Itaru-nii looks like Papa Daisuke. Hoshi-nii looks like Papa Ryou."

Something wasn't adding up, "Who am I again?"

"Mama Haru!"

"... Why not Papa Haru?"

"Cus you're our mama? "

Daisuke cut in, "Do you know HEUSC?"

Minami tapped on his earing, "Yup!"

"I see," He nodded, "You really are my son."

Haru couldn't help but melt a little. It was no secret he was soft to children. He never thought he'd have his own.

... Wait, he was "mama", right? Did that mean he gave birth to three children or something? He was a man, that made no sense!

Wait, unless, he was a carrier and he didn't realize it?

"Are you hungry?" Haru smiled, "... Mama made Adobo."

"Adobo!?" Minami jumped up in joy, "Do we have royal too?"

Oh, he really was Haru's son!

"No," Haru shook his head, "But I'll make some Tang?"

"Thank you, mama!"

Haru carried Minami in his arms and turned to Daisuke and Ryou, "I'm going to the store, I'll be right back."

"I'll drive you there," Daisuke offered, "It'll be faster."

"I'll join too," Hoshino took "... We're family, after all."

"Yes, I think we can set aside our differences now." Daisuke agreed, "We can't get our wife angry."

"... Who are you calling 'wife', Kambe?"

Hoshino silently took Minami from Haru's arms as he glared at the millionaire.

For once in his life, Daisuke felt fear.

"...I'm sorry, dear."

Hoshino felt a little bit of pity as he heard his 'rival' running away from Haru. Oh well, at least Minami was finding it funny.

"Papa got mama angry again."

"Yes, he did."

"Is he gonna sleep on the couch again?"

Hoshino laughed at the thought of Kambe Daisuke sleeping on the couch because of Haru's wrath.

"... Yes, he is."