Happiness, where did you go?

Disappointment

I didn't passed. I know I did my best. To appear confident even though my anxiety and overthinking always gets the best of me.

But I fought it. Because I want to get this opportunity. Because I don't want to miss the chance to prove myself. That I'm gonna be better. That I'm not a failure.

21. Still in college. Been in college for 5 years. And 2 more years to go before I graduate. Hopefully. I'm losing hope. I'm losing it all.  

I miss my old self. I miss the happy me. I miss the confident me. I miss the better me. Or was I really better back then? Maybe I'm not. I was just happy, ignorant on how the reality works.

But I'm missing my happier self. Without the thoughts of not wanting to exist. Without the thoughts that I'm never gonna be good enough.

Happiness, where did you go?