Clouble

Ryans P.O.V

I frowned at my screen when I noticed that James went to 'Do Not Disturb' on skype. Was he ignoring me? I shook my head. 'Nah' I thought to myself 'He's probably just recording a video!' I sighed to myself, but then i realized, he usually just logs off. Maybe he really is ignoring me. But why?

"Ugh!" I slapped my palm to my forehead. "I got drunk last night! I dont freaking remember anyting.!" I groaned. 'What if I said something to make him hate me?' Leaning back in my chair and putting my hands over my eyes, rubbing them hard, I thought about every possible thing that I could have said. Then my eyes shot open. What if I told him. What if I told the only man I've ever cared about, exactly how much I cared about him?

"Shit..." I feel my stomach turn. I knew I wanted to tell him, just not yet. I wasn't ready. I hadn't even formally met James, which makes me even more upset.

"what if I never get to meet him now.?" I was so afraid. So afraid of him never talking to me. My best friend, who I've made amazing memories with, never speaking to me again. All because of what I said. I couldn't hold back my tears as they pooled in the corners of my eyes. I leaned back in my chair again and stared up at the ceiling. I felt a tear fall from my left eye. As I wiped it, I spotted my Fallout bobble head figure pushed towards the end of my desk. I grabbed it, and shook it a bit, chuckling at how ridiculous it looked. My smile turned into a frown as i remembered the No Laughing Contest video I did with James. I tried to use that to make him laugh, but I ended up making myself laugh instead. Memories like this kept me happy but now...now it kind of hurt. I didn't want James to hate me. Without James, my life would be empty. I mean, I've got other friends, but none of them mean as much as James does. I began to feel tears forming in my eyes again.

"Crap.... I think I love him."