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Feelings Dictionary

Having a social life is like playing on a playground. You start off all excited, full of energy, and run around, playing like there is no tomorrow. You meet new people, build new friendships, scream and laugh until your throat is killing you. As the evening progresses, you get more tired and often trip, fall onto the ground, scrapping your knees against the small rocks and pebbles, making them bleed. You slip up, you make mistakes, and frequently become the cringe one in the friend group, and you hurt people— not because you wanted to. It happens. I knew all that, I have always known and tried to keep cautious when playing in my own playground. I have done a great job at playing safe all these years, getting by with just a couple of close friends and many people who look forward to seeing me every day, as we exchange greetings when walking past each other in the hallways of the school.

Looking at me, you could not tell I was popular. Big eyeglasses, choppy bangs and bleached hair with ingrown roots, a terrible sense of style, and a habit to make everything into a joke, I was not that much of an interesting person. Actually, scratch that, the thing about being popular. I simply was way too popular for my kind; the weird kids, those who you would most likely avoid during and out of school. And honestly, I am not sure how I managed to befriend nearly everyone in my grade, but now I enjoy friendly small talk from all kinds of people I would never imagine talking to.

However, I still had a group of close friends, who I knew since way back in the day. Nayeon, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu. We went back to middle school days and I could not be more thankful to have them in my life. Tolerating a person as odd as me, can be very difficult. I, Kim Dahyun, tend to annoy my friends a lot. Just like right now.

We were on recess, enjoying a couple of sandwiches and some strawberry milk Chaeyoung had picked up for us from the convince store. Chaeyoung really liked eating strawberries, she smelled like them too. She was not introverted like me and Tzuyu, and had many other groups she could hang with. I'm not sure why she still keeps choosing us, but I'm not complaining. She is a very busy person, being a part of the art club, the choir, and theatre club, I was honoured she even had the time to be with us. Chaeyoung was a fun person to be around, she pushed you off your comfort zone and was the reason I started befriending random people from our school. I always hoped to be as brave as she is, because she truly is brave, and is never scared to tell her opinion...or pick up the phone and order food when needed. Maybe, that's why Myoui Mina, one of the unreachable cheerleaders, was madly in love with her. She, too, was an introvert and Chaeyoung probably helped her out, just like she did with us. But, back to our point though; recess.

"You're so fucking annoying, Dahyun. I swear!" it was the nth time Nayeon had cursed today, and I could not blame her. I told you I tend to irritate my friends. "Just go talk to that girl, it's not like you haven't befriended half the school."

Nayeon was also an extrovert, but also did not like anyone. She usually went on about how everyone in our school was lame as hell, most of her friends were either from the cheerleaders or from outside of school. Nayeon was actually the one who introduced Mina to Chaeyoung and basically set them up, because Mina was too shy to ask Chaeyoung out and the latter could barely pick up any signs. I was thankful to have Nayeon in our friend group, she always called people out on their bad behavior. However, she swore a lot. I did not like that at first, but I got used to it. Nayeon liked to swear at me the most out of the friend group, most specifically at this very moment, because I got on her nerves.

"Come on, Nay." Tzuyu's sweet voice smoothed over Nayeon's cursing. "Not everyone finds it as easy as you to make a move. Even Mina, one of the most popular people in this school, was too shy to approach Chae."

Tzuyu was the second introvert to the group, but unlike me, she could not go up to people and start a conversation with them. I mean, I cannot either, I just do it because awkward silence is my biggest fear. Tzuyu was smart, a good student, and funny too. She liked animals and frequently volunteered at the local centre. Her style was also out of this world. Tzuyu always dressed elegant and was so effortlessly pretty. No wonder, Nayeon asked her out. I was shocked when that happened, by the way. They look good together, though... even if I third wheel constantly. At least, Tzuyu is always there to back me up when her girlfriend curses me out for not being able to talk to my crush.