Overthinking Impossible

Prolouge

Im going to tell you a story. Unique. Sadness. Heartbreaking. All wrapped in one. If you dont care for those things. Then leave. Because this is not about you. Its about Leesil and her love. All because of a tree.

1

Im running. Through a tunnel of darkness. Looking for the door. The door of light. I fall to my feet. The darkness starting to enclose on me. Waite. There its is. The light. Its coming for me. Im reaching out to grab it. Bam. I find myself awake in my bed.

Just a dream I thought. No not a dream. A nightmare. Ive always wondered if nightmares were fate. That they are destined to be the horror in are future. Then I find myself back and reality. I realize Ill never burn to peices from the sun. Or die of a broken heart.

I finaly managed to leave the only place where im able to make my own life. My own future. I pull myself to my feet. I put on my daily outfit of jeans and a t-shirt. I walked down my stairs. It always reminds me of entering a new world. But it doesnt work that way. I make myself oatmeal and force it down. I eat it everday for breakfast. I hate oatmeal, but if I stop eating it I feel like ill come to miss it. I hear the horn and start out the door. I climb up the three tiny steps onto the bus, and go sit in the very back right hand seat. Why the right? Because the veiw on the right is worse than the view on the left. Yes worse. I like to try and look at it and imagine it perfect. To see what it would be like. I live on the right. I have no mother. One baby sister who I never see. Shes one year old. She lives with my aunt. Im only fifteen so im to young to take care of her on my own. I let every tear out of my body when she left. Now i just have my drunken, pot head father who doesnt give a damn. Ever since my mom has died hes been a wreck. She left for awhile. My mom. She called saying she was coming back. Then she was killed in a semi crash. She said things were gonna be perfect. She gave birth that day. My baby sister almost died. But shes here. My beautiful sister. Hope. Becasue she gave me hope, until she was taken away. Now i dont beleive in hope. So I never get let down. Now you see why I try and picture the right side perfect.

We pull up to school. I leave the bus, and start walking toward the brick building. Looking at my feet, avoiding every crack so I dont break my dead mothers back. I saw pink shoes appear. I look up and theres Roarie. Her long blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. Shes gorgeous. Unlike my brown hair, green eyes, and ghostly skin. She looks like she could never be my bestfriend. You wanna know why she is? Because she spills her heart out to me, and knows i wont tell a soul. Because i talk to no one. I was the popular one until my mom died. She was the only one that stayed with me. Shes going on about how she loves this guy. Love. I will never love anyone besides Hope and Roarie. I cant bear to think of losing anyone else. I cant even think of anyone loving me. Theres nothing to love. We finally reach school doors. We say bye and split ways.

I walk to my first class. Geomatry. I take my usual spot in the back. Open my book. Then waite. Watching the tiny hands of a clock tick in circles. Over and over again. He walks in. Lukus. Ive always wondered about him. Hes got deep blue eyes and brown hair. Hes popular and all, but hes hiding something. I can see it in his eyes. My old "friends" the preps walk in behind. I could ruin there lives with the secrets i know about them. But i dont. Then id be acting like one of them. I look at Lukus. I find him staring and he quickly turns away. I watch a prep walk over to his desk. She sits on the top and starts playing with his chin. I wonder what a life would be without those kinda girls. Boring i guess. She gets up and bends down to "fix" her shoe. Her pencil skirt rising up. To my surprise Lukus looked away. I find him staring again. I wanna know his story. But then hed want to know mine. Im not willing to share that. I hear the bell ring and brace myself for a very boring class period. The teacher goes on about variables and numbers. Im in space wondering what it would be like to be able to solve problems like this in my head. Itd be worthless because id never use it. I would just try and forget, but forgetting is impossible. You may forget momentarily but its always somerwhere in your mind. Im brought back to reality when a paper lands on my desk. I gently open it. In deep black ink it says, Will you be in your tree? I crumpled it up and threw it on the floor.