| Misunderstanding | KTH✔️

4

Taehyung's POV :-

Resting my elbow on the armrest of her sofa, I gripped the bridge of my nose, pressing it lightly. A light groan escaped my lips when my fingers massaged exactly at the place it needed attention. Soon enough, I felt a pair of soft hands run along the length of my hairs and I sighed again, keeping my eyes closed.

"Are you stressed?" A high pitched voice rang near my ears and a light hum was all I did. That voice was soothing but still it lacked to comfort me. That voice was filled with concern but it didn't make me feel content. Because it was her and not you. "Just relax sir." Her voice neared my face and I knew that she was trying to get close to me, again.

Removing her hands, which were now resting on my shoulders, I moved my head sideways, creating some distance between us. Susan frowned a little, looking at me but I tried my best, avoiding her. "Why can't you see how much I love you?" The same question. The same question of hers to which I have no answer to.

Susan was my new secretary, whom I appointed a few months ago. According to her, she has always had a strong crush on me but knowing that I was married, she kept herself away from me. The thoughts of my wife cheating on me was eating me up slowly, hence I started spending more time in my office, amidst my work, with my secretary beside me. It was a futile attempt of mine to get her out of my thoughts as if it was even possible.

The day when I saw an unknown man drop y/n at our home, I was so mad at her that I didn't even want to look at her, hence I rushed out to my office, mentally wanting to spend another night there and away from her. Susan was at the office, doing her overshift and saw me walk into my cabin in a disheveled form.

That night, she watched me cry my heart out and lend me a shoulder which I have always wanted to lean upon. I cried, nearly passing out in her arms but she held me in place, trying to give me all the comfort. Falling in the traps of the weak moment, she tried to cross the line of the relationship that we had but before we could proceed, my heartbeats raised to its maximum, as if alarming me how wrong it was to devour some other woman.

Y/N might not love me anymore but it wasn't enough a reason to end my love for her. It amazes me how it was so easy for her to cheat on me but it is still so difficult for me to even look at Susan in that way. Yes, I come to her apartment and she accompanies me in my heartbreaks, listens to my rambles and gives me some peace but I could never bring myself to love her. Not when every string of my heart still sings the lyrics of her name.

"What is there in Jisung which I lack?" I looked at her with my teary eyes, replying her question with a question instead. Choi Jisung. I loathe the name as no one ever did. He was the same guy who dropped her off that day and I guess he is the one whom she is seeing now. I got to know about his name from her only. How shameless!

"You are a gem of a person" She looked back at me and her eyes glistened with sincerity. I could feel the love that she has for me but I can't feel it when I try to reciprocate it back to her. It's almost like my senses go numb and reminds me of the one and only name of my wife, Kim y/n.

"I am not. If I had been, then she wouldn't have abandoned me" my lips started trembling without my notice and hot drops of tears slid down my cheeks but before it could pour down, Susan wiped it off and pulled me in her embrace, letting me cry on her shoulder, like always. But how I wish that these arms belonged to you and not her.

"I am sorry Susan. I am sorry that I can't love you" I felt like wrapping my arms around her which I did, trying to give some comfort to her as well because I know how it feels to love someone without getting their love back. Y/N was doing the exact same thing to me but more harshly. Susan kept mum, instead her hands worked in stroking my back.

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Strolling my way leisurely towards my room, I smirked to myself when my nostrils filled with Susan's perfume. Additionally, the large hickey mark under my jaw was visible enough for anyone. It looked too real to be guessed as a fake one. Susan has tried stopping me manier times from playing these dirty tricks but I was adamant enough to hurt y/n.

If I can't date someone else, at least I can pretend to be in love with someone and make her feel the same pain which I am going through. I know it sounds childish but the look of dismay on her face, whenever I mention Susan's name or speak about how much I love her and how great of a person she is, gives me another level of satisfaction. I know it hurts her pride because she thought that I would be a love sick puppy, but no. That's not how it works.

Standing at the doorstep of our room, I halted to take a moment of the scenario in front of me. Taemin was cuddled up against her and she was patting his small back, whispering something to him. These scenes were very rare to see nowadays considering the fact that I have been aloof from her. At least she still loves her son if not her husband.

A little feeling crept in my heart as a thought crossed my mind. I wish I was at Taemin's place getting her love and attention, just like good old times. My throat burned as my eyes felt heavy remembering the amount of love with which she used to shower us both. What happened to you y/n?

I teared apart my gaze from the two, mentally hitting myself. Don't fall so weak in front of her. She doesn't even care about you anymore. Taking a few deep breaths, I walked inside the room and the sound of my shoes clicking on the floor, alarmed Taemin that he raised his head from her chest and ran down to come towards me.

"Daddy is home" he exclaimed happily, throwing his tiny arms for me to scoop him in my embrace which I did happily. In the midst of all the chaos of my life, he was my only happiness left. "Missed me?" I tickled his small belly and he let his head fall on my shoulder, bursting into a fits of giggles, soothing my insides.

She was watching us silently, still sitting on the bed. If it was a few months ago, she would have joined us two, wrapping her arms around us, dropping kisses on our foreheads, but just like her love, her touch was also long lost from my life. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt me. How did your love fade away like that?

"Daddy what's that?" Taemin's sudden question broke my trance as well as my gaze from her and I looked at his pointed direction. He saw the fake hickey which was on display, under my jaw. Shit! I panicked inwardly, thinking of something sane but my mind already went bonkers, unable to frame something.

I suddenly felt so small in front of my son, realising that even if it was fake and an alibi, any sane person would still think too low of him as a person who cheats on his wife. We don't bite a dog when we get bitten by the same. My heartbeats suddenly went frenzy and my lips dried. His innocent questioning gaze held so much power that I started feeling ashamed of myself.

"That's a mosquito bite baby" I heard her speak from beside me and craned my neck towards her direction. She came to my rescue after seeing the shadow of uneasiness dawn upon me because of one small question of my son. Taking Taemin from me, she kissed his forehead, before looking at me.

"Just a mosquito bite" she whispered in a low voice. Her lips were sealed, yet eyes were complaining so much. You are also cheating on me. My mind retorted any remorse that my heart wanted to fill in my system. The look of pain in her eyes didn't bring me peace. It never actually did. Her eyes spoke how disappointed she was with me and maybe with herself too.

Was she anyhow regretting cheating on me?
And even if she does, will I ever bring myself to forgive and forget about it?