I wish I could feel real. I mean, I do. But sometimes, it's so hard to. Even breathing feels like it's fake. Everyone around me and even myself, also feels fake. I hate it. And lately, it's became an actual problem. I believe it could be my anxiety but I'm scares it's something else.
Another part of me feels sad. Can't come to the conclusion on why, I just feel that way. It could be depression crawling back but I don't wanna think of that. Because shit kills me.
It's most likely that, I just really don't like admitting it.
I'm supposed to get an appointment made soon for all of this. Hopefully I get the help I need.
I don't wanna go on more with this. I'm getting better but at the same time, I'm worse.
I know no one reads these. So that's the main reason I write all this on here. It's a way to get it all out. Because I can't actually talk to anyone. There's not a person to talk to. There is, but it doesn't feel like it. Even if I wanted to, I can't tell people how I feel. It's so hard to. I'm used to keeping things to myself, I guess.
That's all.
Goodbye for now.
