You will be found (A depressed Spider-Man story)

Chapter 3 Spirals

Peter's POV
I sat on my bed starring up at my ceiling, Ned's body kept popping into my head. Slowly I let sleep take over me. I dreamt of my friend, my parents, and uncle, looking at me, tears sprang to my eyes, but they were replaced with fear as my my family and Ned started chanting, "it's your fault peter" "you killed us" then only Ned spoke "you let me fall peter, its your fault I'm dead" "n-no, I tried" I stuttered "I-I'm sorry, I tried" "sorry isn't enough peter" ben's voice rang out. "You don't deserve to live happy" they said all together, before fading into black.
May's POV
I woke up to screaming from peters room. I got up and put on robe, while quietly running to Peters room, there I saw him shaking and tossing in his covers. I knew it was a nightmare and judging by the tears it probably had something to do with Ned. Peter had been having nightmares since Ben died but they got much worse after Ned jumped. I decided to wake him up "Pete" I say softly "hey Petey you gotta wake up it's just a nightmare" I try again gently shaking him. He shot bolt upright "hey Pete wanna talk?" "No" he said "yeah that's what I though well it's 5:30 ish do you want to get some breakfast?" "Not hungry" he rolled over so his back was facing to me. "That's also what I thought, well I'm going to turn the light back out and let you sleep then" "hmpf thanks or whatever."
*30 minutes later*
"Peter you gotta get up now bud, i also had a thought" "hmm?" "What if you went to Neds house, it might help with your nightmares" I carefully suggested "yeah maybe" i left so he cold get dressed

Peter pov
As i was putting on my hoody something fell from the pocket and clattered to the ground. I bent to pick it up and realized it was a razor blade. I don't even remember doing it it's like I lost control and
TRIGGER WARNING
I slashed and swiped and sliced over and over until, my entire left arm was dripping. A knock on the door pulled my out of my trance "Peter? Pete honey you're gunna be late" shit "umm y-yeah I'm fine May I'll be out in a bit." I hurried to hide the blade, wash off my arm and bandage it, the I put my hoody (hoodie?) on all the way, grabbed my school bag and left my room.
TRIGGER OVER
It was now 7am and school started at 10 today because of a teacher planing thing or something I don't know I wasn't paying attention. I grabbed my wallet with my subway card in it and said goodbye to May, I hopped on the Familiar subway and headed to Ned's old house. Taking a deep breath in I told myself "ok just go up to the roof and figure you shit out." Carful to avoid anyone seeing me I climbed up to the roof and sat down on the edge. After about 20 minutes I got ready to go back down, the I saw a little yellow piece of paper under a rock. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked at it, the front said "For Ned and MJ" This must be Ned's note, I opened it slowly
"Dear Peter and MJ,
I'm sorry, well actually no I'm not, I know you guys never really cared for me. It's better this way and you know it. This way you don't have to pretend anymore, I'm not a burden anymore. Thank you for trying, I love you both.
-Ned"

Third Person
Rain began to fall as he finished the note and he knew what he had to do. Grabbing his phone he texted may and old her about the late start and then said he was going to MJs to give her something. Walking from one side of queens to the other is the rain was not exactly pleasant but he didnt have the money for a taxi and the subway didn't have a stop near where he was going, to he walked and let his thoughts creep in and eat away at him.

Peter's POV
I knocked at MJ's door, it took 5 knocks until she finally came to the door, checks stained with tears and eyes read and puffy. "What do you want peter" she spat, I stumbled back at the unexpected aggression.
She lost her best friend because of you of corse shes upset
"I umm I just wanted to g-give you this" stupid stutter she already hates you know she thinks you're weak
I mean she's right though you are weak
"Fine give it to me and leave" she said snatching the note from my hands and slamming the door on my face.

*time skip*

I was soaked by the time i got back to my room. Suddenly I could hear everything and feel everything, pressure felt like it was boiling beneath my skin,
TRIGGER WARNING
I stumbled from the widow I entered through to my dresser where I left my blade, and fell into the bathroom only catching myself on the sink. I shut the door and again sliced over and over on the untouched skin of my right arm.
TRIGGER OVER
After bandaging my arm i return to my bedroom and collapse onto my bed, falling asleep again forgetting I had school.

Mays POV
After about 20 minted of banging and bumps Peter finally quieted down in his room. He had school today but he had been through a lot so I figured I'd let him sleep. When I opened the door to his room to check on him I saw that he had left his light on but was  passed out anyway. I turned of his light but as I turned to walk away something caught my eye. A flash of silver in the weak light seeping from behind the curtain, curious I decided to go look and to my horror I saw a blade greasy with blood. Peter peaceful for now though so I decided we would talk later.

That later never came.

Aghabahab I did it here's a new chapter, I promise shit gets better it's rly slow rn but it does get better sorry for taking a litteral eternity to post this smh