Last Hope

Chapter 2

                         ~KINGSTON~

I sat on the couch in my sister’s office. My sister is a licensed Psychologist. I didn’t use her as my psychologist, but I did come here from time to time for her honest option when I felt I needed it; it didn’t mean I’d take it, but sometimes her honesty helped, or she made me think things over more clearly and in a different light.

    Her building was close to the bar that I own, so it was just more convenient to drop by then try and fit into our busy schedules.

I saw she was going over a file on her desk, probably her next patient. I know she loved what she did. Laura had a comforting way about her that let people feel relaxed to open up to her. I admired her for what she does. I know it must be hard with people who find it hard to open up; not everyone can. “So?” She said from her desk, still with her attention on the file in her hand.
    “So. . .what?”

She wasn’t even paying attention to me. I understood she was busy and had clients that she had to be ready and prepared for. I didn't take any offence to it. This was her job and her practice; she took pride in her work.

    “Are you ever going to actually date someone again?” Laura’s eyes floated up for a moment to look at me.
    “No.”

She knows what I went through. She couldn't think I was ready to be beaten down again. I will not be played with or be made a fool of again. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice I’m the fucking idiot.

    “You know not every woman is like your ex, right?” She closed the folder and leaned back in her chair and looked at me.

    “I still can't trust women.”

    “Why don’t you just try once to keep it casual, nothing serious, just dinner or lunch, coffee even?” Laura suggested.

    “I feel so out of my league; I don’t even know how to date or ask a girl out.”

    “Haha, brother, you are the King of serial dating without actually dating. Just be yourself, and when you see someone that catches your eyes, go into it just getting to know her, not with the intent of bedding her.”

How do you even do that? I feel lost in what to do. Women scared the shit out of me.
    Bedding them is easy, but something serious and tangible scares the ever-loving shit out of me.

“That’s easier said than done, I can’t seem to find anyone that catches my eye or that makes me stop in my tracks.

There all the same slutty bitches that just want to string us, men, along, spending our money but not really wanting us. Playing us like a damn fool.” I sat up, rubbing my hands together, leaning forward on the cold leather couch.

    “Melissa was an idiot, okay, she never deserved you, think of it as a blessing instead of some curse to ruin your life. Yes, it sucked, but I promise there is someone far better that will come along and make you forget that damn girl's name.” Laura made it sound doable and actually tangible, but I was still scared as hell and just not ready to be played again. 

I lifted my cap off my head and ran my hand through my unruly hair then slid it back on. “How do I open my heart again?”

“It’s going to be hard, but be open to the possibilities that there is someone that is nice and will like you for you.”

Fuck, why does this scare me so damn much? Right, cause I don’t want to look like a fucking idiot that was blindsided again. I couldn't go through that again. I liked just having sex with no commitment. It’s just what I had done since I broke things off with my ex four years ago after she cheated on me. I haven’t been able to let go of what she did.