Cold Water- Davekat

Part One

Be Dave Strider.

You are now Dave Strider, and you are no longer focusing on your current game of Pocket Frogs, a very ironically cool game for ironically cool kids to play, because you have noticed something. Karkat is extremely close to being squished up against you. It seems he is very slowly inching towards your side. Very slowly. So slowly you begin to think you might have imagined it. But, then he moves again. And- okay. That's new? It's not that you mind, no it's quite the opposite actually. Karkat just hasn't been the most touchy feely person in the time you've known him.

You pause the game to think this over for a moment. A rare occurrence of considering your options before jumping into action. Not that you, the very cool Dave Strider was going to do anything. No action here. No siree. Just pondering time. Maybe Karkat's just like really fucking tired and lacking better judgement, or maybe he's had a bad day, or maybe he's just in need of some bro cuddles, or... Something? It is pretty late, almost 11 p.m. so he's probably just too tired to care. That definitely makes the most sense. Karkat is just sleepy, probably out of his mind tired, like too tired to think things over, so he was just. Scootin' on over. That makes lots of sense, actually. There aren't any blankets on the couch. He knows where you keep your blankets, but tired Karkat lacks a filter. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Conclusion? Made. Thinking? Over.

And, with that you unpause your game.

You notice something else new, though, which distracts you from your game again. Karkat's body heat is very warm. Like, extremely warm. And yeah, you knew that before now. It's not like you've never physically touched the guy or anything. It's just that you had never done anything like this before. And Karkat's taking and extremely long time to just fucking lean into your side. It's not like it's hard. And like Gog, even if he is tired out of better thinking skills this is taking for-fucking-ever. So, you, ever the wise and ironically smart and cool guy, close the gap. Cool. This is cool.

And Karkat shouts. It's almost like he wasn't expecting it? And like sure, maybe it was like a very all of a sudden, only a dickhead would do this move, and maybe you should have asked first, but also Karkat has definitely been scooting over ever so slightly for the past hour or so. Maybe screaming woke him up, and his is judgement no longer clouded with the haze of sleepiness. You're fine not cuddling if Karkat doesn't want to. There's no doubt in your mind about that. But, Karkat is really mixing the signals right now, which is not as cool as it could be. If the signals were orange and green they'd definitely be some murky shade of brown. That's how mixed they are. Mixed right the fuck up.

So no, it's not cool. It is not cool because now Karkat is on the complete opposite end of the couch. Again. God these fucking murky brown signals are frustrating. And you are very confused. You are confused because One: why the fuck was Karkat seemingly trying to cuddle, or whatever the fuck trolls would call it, and then suddenly freaking out when you tried to reciprocate. It's not like you mind. Well. It's not like you mind too much. You don't really care, in a cool way, but also it hurts. You don't know why it hurts though. But maybe it's like hey, dude you started it. In fact you started it and your starting process was like an hour too long, so I finished it. Probably. That makes sense to you. "It only hurts because you've hurt my sense of pride" has a much better ring than "I was totally about to pull some 'no homo yall' type shit and cuddle with my best bro".

And Two: Apparently Karkat has been talking this entire time. Which makes sense, you've been spaced out for a bit and- oh. Now he's yelling at you for not paying attention. And Gog, he's so cute when he does that. But like, cute in a totally platonic bro way. Yeah. So you tune back in because it's getting hella awkward in your own thoughts.

"-and you're a fucking bulgesniffer you know that? I'm a troll. I have no need for your dumb fucking batshit crazy human shooshpapping that isn't even actual shooshpapping because humans are fucking weird. And guess fucking what even if you were gonna shooshpap me correctly I don't need shooshpapping right now because I am totally happy and calm and content and fine! I've never needed shooshpapping a day in my life and I am certainly not going to fucking start now-"