Who Are You?!

Chapter I

Today is the 13th of Friday;  I lost my brother, Chord. I thought I would be very happy if he were to die. But that wasn't the case at all. I was upset. I'm pretty sure that I wished him dead at times. I never knew it would be real. I never knew that he could actually die. I never knew that a WISH can turn out to be real. I never knew, only if I had known, I wouldn't have ever wished or even let the idea come into my mind. I kept walking with my heavy backpack bundled with my brother's notebooks, and other stuff that he keeps in his locker, plus my usual material I bring home everyday. Tears went down my cheeks uncontrollably. Blink, drip. Blink, drip. Blink, drip; over and over and over again. I didn't even know where I was headed to. I was in a hypnotic state of mind and couldn’t stop the tears as I walked on the unknown street. There were people that were behind me and gave me a wry look and took over me. Some even started to murmur. I couldn't bring myself to care, I had other things to worry about.
    I finally reached home after forty-five minutes, and usually, I reach home in less than ten minutes. I dropped my backpack and my brother's backpack down to look for the house key. I rummaged through my bag which was filled with books, binders, and other basic shit. Tears were still in my eyes, ready to fall. Instead of one binder, I saw multiple. I couldn't trust my eyes to find my key, but my sense of touch. I reached all the way down into my backpack, reaching the end. I could feel the concrete under the bag. I shoved a few books left and a few to the right. I found the key but now, how do I open the door when I can't even see how many books are in my bag? I held a fist with the key in between my fingers. I banged the wall with my fist and rested my head against the wall. More tears rolled down my cheek. By dinner, I'm sure I would have no more water left in me. All of it would have drained out because of how hard I'm crying. I wiped my tears with my sleeve and opened the door before I would start crying again. I dragged the backpacks inside and slammed the door. The backpack slid down from my arms to the floor as I leaned back against the big brown door and fell straight down with my head in my arms which rested on my bent knees and did nothing other than cry.