small space book! | ᵃᵍᵉʳᵉ

why I believe punishments shouldn't be a part of age regression

I have strongly believed since joining the agere/cglre community on Tumblr that punishments should not be a part of age regression.

even small punishments.

this is because most rules we lay out for ourselves are for things we struggle with.

let's use an example, I struggle with brushing my teeth (thank god they're not bad by now).

let's say tonight I forgot to brush my teeth, and my caregiver found out and decided, "well aspen, you forgot to brush your teeth so now you get an earlier bed time."

it doesn't seem to bad right?

let's take it up a few notches.

let's say I have a bad habit of picking scabs off wounds, let's say I did this for the same reason people s3lf-h4rm.

"well aspen, you broke a rule so now you get an earlier bed time."

this is not healthy and any therapist will tell you that. even for the teeth brushing thing.

punishments, consequences, or whatever you want to call them don't encourage good behavior, they force it.

you get scared thinking "shoot if I forget to brush my teeth my cg will raise my bedtime again."

even if the fear isn't at a conscious level, it's there.

you wouldn't punish someone with anorexia for not eating, so you shouldn't punish someone with *insert problem* for doing what the problem was.

it's not healthy and is a fear dynamic.

this goes for age regressors and even kids.

help someone, don't punish them.

if they don't want to be helped (unless it's very serious) let the natural cause and effect play out.

you didn't eat dinner last night?

you're going to be extra hungry the next morning.

that's a much better way of learning.

I hope this helps someone out. in my handbook I'll be doing something like this, but it will be more about how to sense and unhealthy power dynamic in a relationship. (basically how to sense if your caregiver is taking advantage of your regression to control you.)