Falling For The Dead

Chapter 1

Minerva flinched slightly as Severus Snape slammed the doors of her office. Of course she knew he didn't like being pitied; but in the given situation, it looks like he is the one who needs it the most. She gave a sigh and lowered her head and closed her eyes, wondering how the Potions Master will cope with his depression.

"Minerva-"

"No, Albus. I can't. He won't. He is the one who is suffering more than anyone else. First Lily, now Harry too..."  She couldn't hold back the sob when she mentioned the young boy's name.

"I know, dear. I know.."

Dumbledore said, as a tear escaped from his eyes and trickled down his portrait.

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The nerve of that woman! I don't need any pity!

Snape practically growled as he walked back to his dungeons, even though tears where spilling from his eyes. He slammed open the door to his office, not bothering to close it and sat on his desk. Any student, whether it be a first year or a seventh year, not even a bloody Gryffindor, would have the courage to look him straight in his eyes.

Especially, a boy with messy black hair, shining green eyes, round glasses and a mischievous smile plastered on his face. And, with the  name Harry Potter. Son of James Potter and Lily Potter. Yeah, perfect!

Snape choked on his own tears which he didn't know where flowing from his eyes until then. He hastily wiped them away with the hem of the sleeves of his hospital pajamas, which he had been wearing for the past few days. He was admitted in the hospital wing for the last week, in which he was unconscious for most of the days. He woke up three days back, and when he asked whether they won, Poppy gave him a sad smile and said yes.

He almost dozed off again, when a question hit him at the back of his head.

"Is Potter alive?"

Poppy's smile faded away and with barely concealed terror, he saw her eyes beginning to fill. She then quickly waved her wand and he found himself unwillingly falling into the land of unconsciousness.

Later that day, Minerva came to see him and told him the truth.

"The truth, it is a beautiful and a terrible thing..."

Dumbledore's word echoed through his mind. How right the old coot was...

His memories and every single encounters with Harry flashed through his eyes. He remembered when he saved the boy from Quirrel's curse. When he suggested Ron and Harry were in the wrong place at the wrong time in second year. When he tried to save the Golden Trio from Lupin. When he threatened to pour Veritaserum in Harry's pumpkin juice. When he alerted the Order of Harry's vision about Black. When he tried to protect Draco and Harry at the same times without arousing any suspicions. When he send his Patronus to the boy to find the sword...

All, all just to end with the Dark Lord..

Harry had to die, but he didn't knew that until he gave him his memories. If he hadn't given them, Harry would've still be alive.

First he betrayed Lily, now her son too?

He threw the ink bottle that sat innocently on his work table at the wall and sighed in satisfaction as it made a "cling" sound of breaking when it collided with the stone walls.

Now, what is he living for? He can't teach another set of dunderheads for another year. Not that he would be alive to do so-

He started to hurtle everything that came in contact with his hands at the wall until a framed photo was knocked to the ground.

He bent and picked it up. It showed Lily with her family including Petunia. He stared.

Lily.... I failed you... I failed your son too. I KILLED Him! It was ME! Only because of me!

Sobs began to wreck his body, and Snape fell to his knees on the hard, cold dungeon floor. He cradled his head in his arms and just sat there, unsure of what to do next.

Resign from his post? Or continue it? Take a break and spend the rest of his life on a countryside, where no one will recognise him? Or maybe, just end his life?

"Severus, are you in there?"

Snape wiped away his tears and got up from the floor. When he opened the door (which had closed by itself due to the force with which it was thrown open) his face was devoid of any emotion.

But Draco Malfoy knew his godfather better than anyone.

"Can I come in, Sev?"

He opened it a bit further as a sign of invitation.

''Thanks. Now, what were you upto?"

That's when a question popped up in Snape's mind.

"How are you even here? I thought you were in Azkaban?"

Draco stared at his shoes and remained silent. Then he said,

"I heard you learned the truth.. About Harry.."

He looked up, with his eyes filled with tears.

"He died for us, Severus. I can't - I can't imagine a world without him! He gave Neville his memories which had enough proof that I was pressured to follow You-Know-Who. Those memories were the reason why you are here instead of Azkaban-"

He stopped when he realised that his godfather had not spoken a word at all. He was unnerved and fidgeted as Snape just stared at him. He yelped as his forearm was jerked and he struggled to get it out of Snape's iron like grip.

He froze as Snape said,

"Don't ever talk to me about him."

There was no emotion behind the words and Draco feared his godfather lost it finally. But was relieved yet sad when Snape said,

"Please..."

This time, he heard the regret and hurt behind them. He let the older man to fall into his hands and cry for all those he had lost, all while silently begging himself not to break down along with his godfather.

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Chapter one finished! Yeah I'm currently in a good environment, ideal for writing and as you can see, I kept my word! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you have any doubts or suggestions, you can comment or dm me.

'til the next time we meet, peace! ✌🏼