unwind and redo.

Jenny-01

I woke up feeling a bit drowsy with a funny taste. It took about 20 minutes for me to mentally gather the courage to make it out of bed.
I pushed the blinders open and the much needed sun rays cascaded into my room.
Ohh my God! I totally lost track of time, the kids need their lunches packed up.
I rush downstairs and hurriedly make some omlet and french toasts. I go ahead to pack my three kids' lunches and milk and get ready to start off my day.
Sometimes everything is exhausting,  don't get me wrong being a mother is the best thing the universe ever granted me but sometimes just for a bit i wish i could take a break from everything. Whether its thanksgiving, christmas, a normal school day, there is never a break for me. The vacations with Chad stopped right after Andy was born about 18 years back! Its startling to even realise that in 18 years i haven't had some me time.
That's what life is about Jenny, you signed up for this. You need to get yourself together and master enough energy to wrap the rest of the day up girl! No time for lazy thoughts.
"Morning mom," Andy screams as she swoops up her lunch and gives me a rushed kiss.
"Morning Andy," i smile in response.
Andy is my lovely 18 year old daughter in her final year of highschool. She wants to major in medicine at college and keeps a messed up room rugged up with books at every corner as if to prove her commitmentto scienceto the rest of us.
"Mom promise you'll come for soccer practice today," Joe begs with that dazzling look that always gets to me.
"Ofcourse ill be there hun, what are moms for?" I respond as i nudge his adorable tinny button nose.
"Mom stop!" He runs off as he chuckles.
Joe is in highschool too and is a talented basket baller which earned him a scholarship at school and am so proud of him.
Once the kids are off to school i turn on some music and get cleaning. The house is usually really messy in the morning no matter how well i cleaned up the previous day. Usually looks like we have parties every other night, cups in the wrong places, books, broken dishes, name it. The other day i caught Sofie eating Chad's socks!
Sofie is my 5 months baby that just started crawling around the house and am so happy she got her front teeth this week.
Chad was never that romantic, more of a work guy. Well our sex life wasn't exactly amazing before but after i got pregnant with Sofie it became none existent. Chad always comes home tired and late and just kisses me goodnight. He hasn't so much as touched me in the last five months.
I get done cleaning up and making lunch and am just so exhausted already. I clean up Sofie and feed her just as the babysitter shows up and i finally take a nap.
I get up and make myself some coffee and start watching some television.
I decided to suprise Chad with a lunch date, so i take a shower, clean up and try to look a little bit presentable considering my boobs hurt like crazy and my feet are a little swollen too. I ride to Chad's work place and decide to first wait and give him a call while am in the car. Chad is a banker and from what he tells me its a pretty exhausting job.
"Hey honey, is it ok if we have a lunch date? I figured out you're just about to get your lunch date and decided it would be nice to join you."
Instead of excitement i could feel exhaustion at the other end of the line.
"Look Jenny, we'll have dinner when i get home. Am having take away lunch today. My schedule is so tight i have no time to go out and have lunch. Thanks for caring, see you at home, okay?"
"Okay, take care, i love you."
There was no response, the line just broke. I felt a heaviness and tightness in my chest that i couldn't explain. I got out of the car to get some air and decided to get myself some pizza while at it.
I went to the Cori shop, a popular restaurant around the area. I wore a scarf and some glasses to avoid having to talk to anyone i knew.
I get into the restaurant, and there is just this air about it that's so homely and welcoming. I order for my pizza and sit at a corner table. Am just lazily scanning through my phone when i see Chad enter the restaurant with a lady at his side. He was holding her by the side delicately and they were chit chatting and he seemed to be having a time of his life. I couldn't remember ever seeing him this excited and his eyes so lit up. I simply couldn't take it, something inside me shuttered, i struggled for breath. I ran to the washrooms trying my best not to draw attention. I just sat there and started crying like a baby, not even mindful of how much time had gone by. I felt a light tap on my shoulder that jolted me back to reality.
"Excuse me mam  are you okay?" A cherry voice asked. I looked up to find shinny blue eyes staring back at me. There was a lady with honey coloured shoulder length hair, she was a bit plump and well rounded with the brightest smile I'd ever seen.
I smiled back at her and we just stared at eachother for a good minute.
"Hey, am Mandy."
"Am Jenny,"
"Ive seen you around before, am the manager of Cori"
"Oh am sorry if I've been a  inconvenience,"
"No no not at all, i just hope you're okay"
"Am fine thanks for asking Mandy"
"Well, thats good if you're okay but just incase you're not I'd like to check in later to make sure, could i please take your number Jenny?"
I was completely shocked that a total stranger would be so genuinely concerned but also grateful. I gave her my number and address and left.

Back home, Joe isn't so excited to see me and he rants out because he thinks i forgot to go watch his basketball game. I honestly don't have the mental energy at this point to handle anything. I just get into the shower and cry my eyes out till its all out. I get myself together enough to go down for dinner. Chad actually makes it to dinner today which is really rare and i think to myself, maybe it isn't what i think it is. We have a silent meal and the kids go to bed and Chad is watching the news as i clean up the dishes.
"Sorry that you couldn't even get your lunch break today,  you must be really exhausted,"
"Its okay Jenny, its no trouble, i eat in almost all the time these days,"
"Almost all the time uhh?"