A pretty young girl who has such an interesting story, and simple life, she is so smart, kind, and timid, she is special. she moved to a village, that's when her life begins again.
Every day, when she wakes up, she hears those beautiful sounds, full...
"It doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself "
Whenever I hear this line of my favorite song, I get goosebumps. confidence is all I need, but I can't have it, it's just words..." I'm confident, I can do it, I have the courage to ..." it's all fake for me.
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Just look at the birds flying without fearing falling down, I wish I could be a bird and fly away from this earth, to go farther and farther to nowhere.
I don't know why but, I feel sad, because of nothing, I'm just sad. this emotion comes from nowhere. I've not been alone, neither broken though, I feel alone.
I'm bored, I don't want to do anything, I want to cry, I want to scream. my life is running well, I'm in a good health, I like my family, my friends, they're here for me, but I want to be alone. Why? just because... of nothing.
Do I hate myself? I hate many things in me that I'd like to change. do I even have the right to say this? I'm not a narcissist, right!
these ideas pop in my head every time I get far from what I believe. I need to control my emotions, I don't want to be sad because of anything, I want to be always happy, it's impossible I know, but at least, not making my loved ones worried for nothing...
I was listening to Lofi songs in my room, it was 15:30 pm and the weather was nice, I was contemplating nature views from the window. just chilling after a long day of studying, and finally here comes the weekend. I'm so excited about this week's activity club ... and now mom is calling me:
Mom: "Mery, come down sweetie!"
I run down to my mom's room, and knocked on the door:
Mery: "Mom, did you call me?"
Mom:" yes, come in darling..."
Mery:" do you need anything mom? "
Mom:" nothing, Your brother told me that your t your father is coming today..."*disappointed
Mery: "Oh, nice, but what's up with your face, I don't think you're happy with the news you got from Norman ..."
Mom: "I've never been pleased with your dad's presence darling, you know that. just don't worry about me and welcome your dad when he comes, we didn't see him for a while"
Mery:" Alright, mom"*smiles*
Mom and dad are just a complicated story in my life, they're always disputing about literally everything. to be honest, I don't really like it when dad is coming home, he is often busy outside the country, I don't even know what he does. when I was young, I was always sticking to him, he used to take me to school every day, and buy me anything I want, the best dad ever, and his lovely daughter, but this didn't last forever.
Anyways, I'm heading to my room to do some maths activities, then eat dinner, and then I'll sleep...OH, a new message from Ken!*happy*
PHONE
Ken:"Hey Mery, you there?"
Mery: "yes! what's up " -seen-
Ken: "nothing much. I saw you this morning, and you seemed kinda sad, are you okay?"
Mery: "Oh! I'm okay haha, just mood, sorry for worrying you...." -seen-
ken: "it's okay lol, so do you have any planning for tomorrow?"
Mery: "not really, why?" -seen-
-Why is he asking? it can't be what I think ...-
Ken: "then, how about visiting Naomi's library? there are many interesting books there, and you told me that you are a reader, so I thought it would be nice to go there together !"
-OMG! this is literally what I thought, it's actually obvious... should I go? oh man it reminds me of the interactive stories LOL -yes -no I'll choose: yes -
Mery: "What a good idea! alright, let's meet tomorrow then :D" -seen-
Ken: "Cool haha, see you tomorrow lol"
*********************
When I talk to Ken, I feel so comfortable, he is a nice friend, and I hope he will be forever. It definitely would be fun haha, I'm so happy right now, can't wait till tomorrow comes!
