Wishes- Trixya (Sequel to Prom)

Chapter 7

Katya POV-

October (Freshman year)

I can't remember a time when everything ached this badly. My limbs feel dizzy and my head hurts. I haven't stopped shaking in hours, shuddering as if it were cold but knowing that it's warm in the dorm.

The feeling of bathroom floor tiles on my skin is getting old just like being this miserable is. All of it hurts. There's a knock at the door and Trixie's voice saying something. I don't pay much attention, not to her anyways. My focus is on trying not the throw up. She sits on the floor next to me. "Are you okay?" She asks. I can hear the exhaustion in her voice, it is 2 in the morning. I can tell that she knows the answer and is hoping for a better one. Just once.

"It's just with-drawl it's fine." I mutter, gripping the side of the counter as hard as I can. "I'm fine."

"Maybe you should be admitted. I can check you in tonight. It'll be better." She begs.

I shake my head. I want to be admitted, I want to go to rehab. But another part of me doesn't want to do that all again. The other part of me wants to get over it in a night even though I know I can't. "No. I- another night please." I reply, refusing to look at her.

Trixie stands up and leaves the room. Lightly closing the door behind her. Part of me wants to be mad but the other part of me is glad she's leaving me in here. It's not her problem.

December Sophomore year (current)
The day before Christmas Eve everyone else sleeps in so I have the whole house to myself. It's cold inside the house and I wrap a blanket around myself before making my way to the kitchen, sat right behind the living room. Trixie and my mom would both go for tea when they get up so I put some water on the stove and pull up a stool to sit at the counter. Outside the trees sway gently, covered with a thin layer of snow. It's only 7:30 so the sun is just coming up to glint off the windows, turning the kitchen orange.

I feel normal, which sounds like a strange way to put my feelings, but at the same time normal seems like the best way to feel. At least in my opinion. It's good not to be sad but also to not have my neurotransmitters blasted into outer space. Normal is just what your brain is supposed to be. Reacting to the actual things around it, instead of just making up it's own way to feel.

"Katya." A little hand tugs on the blanket.

"Jesus Christ Maria, you scared me." I reply. "Why are you up?"

"I don't know, felt like it."

I roll my eyes at my little sister. "Okay come here."

She pulls another stool across from me and looks over the stove. "What're you doing?"

"Making tea." I reply. "You want breakfast?"

Maria nods.

The pantry is stocked with cereal and I tell her to pick some out. I pour the milk for her and put her back on the stool. I must admit I do miss when we used to be the only two up in the morning. But for this weekend I have it all back again. Though the memories are a little fuzzy, and clouded behind something they're still mostly positive.

The kitchen is quiet except for water boiling and Maria eating next to me. I don't mind at all, in fact, not having the chaos of the whole house is great in the mornings. I finish the tea and put it in thermoses so it doesn't get cold before they can drink it when they want it. "Maria why don't you go wake up Trixie and Mom."

She shrugs. "Okay." And leaves, not thinking much of it. If there's one thing I've learned about little kids, it's that they just like to be helpful.