The Disappearance of Talia King

PART X

JANUARY 27th, 2011, 10:07 am

HARRY, AGED 19

The brick walls of the house seemed older than they had a year and a half ago, perhaps darker too, as if the light had been sucked out from within them. And it had. I knew it had. Because she was that house's light. She was the light in everything.

Thinking about it now, I don't know why it took me so long to come here, to see one of the places that held so many of our memories together. In my head, I sort of regretted it because I felt inclined to still cling onto the objects and places that meant something to her, even if they were of the slightest significance. Just because I hadn't been here the past year and a half, didn't mean that I didn't want to be here. I did want to, in fact, I needed to be here. More than anything, I needed to be surrounded by the memories of her, by the remnants of our past, the past I still wished was my present.

The front-porch steps creaked slightly as I made my way towards the door and I listened carefully to the howling breeze as it gushed through the trees. There was no car in the driveway, signalling that there was only one person home. Clenching my hand into a fist and then knocking loudly on the door, I stared at the cracks and marks in the wood. Some areas were scratched from long years of use, despite that the family I knew had only lived in this house for two years or so and some areas had small dents where the wood caved in just a little. In some way, they made a pattern, a pattern of memories or moments. Each one made me wonder whether she had made any of these marks. She must have done.

Just as I began to trace some of the tiny scratches with my fingertips, the door shifted out of my reach and a small, dark face appeared in the crack next to the door frame. For some reason, the figure seemed hesitant to fully emerge, as if it were frightened of the light. Everything about the figure was dark and gloomy, all except their eyes. Their ocean blue eyes seemed to hold something within them, something almost evil-looking. The contrast of the light and dark looked almost terrifying. They were completely unlike how I remembered them. They used to be so cheerful, bright and so full of happiness. It didn't make any sense for them to now look this way, for them to have lost their joy.

"Harry?"

I almost didn't register her words at first and seemed to momentarily forget my reason for being there. In my head, my thoughts had sounded so clear, so arranged and yet, now they had somehow vanished, evaporating in the air that surrounded me.

"Harry? Harry? What are you doing here?" Bailey's voice came again and she backed away into the house, beginning to close the small gap in which her head had appeared moments ago.

"No! Bailey, wait!" I cried, rapidly placing my foot between the door and its frame to prevent her from shutting me out. It was as if she was shutting the world out and all of the light that came with it.

"Harry, leave." She said, still trying her best to close the door.

"Bailey, I just want to see her room!" I yelled, and everything suddenly seemed to fall silent. A flock of birds, frightened by the noise, began to fly into the distance and the trees finally stopped their constant rustling. Bailey's body was frozen and I realised that she was no longer placing all of her weight against the door. Her pink lips were slightly parted in the middle as if in shock and her eyes seemed to darken a little at the mere mention of her. I couldn't tell what she was thinking exactly but by the look resting upon her features, I could only gather that it wasn't anything good.

"For goodness sake, Harry!" Bailey exclaimed as the door was opened fully, allowing me to view her tiny figure properly for the first time since I arrived. "Why?"

"What---?"

"Why?" She questioned again, not allowing me to ask what she meant. "What would the point in that be?!" She almost screamed and I all of a sudden felt my feet shuffling backwards against the old, wooden porch. The volume of her voice had increased but I didn't understand why. This wasn't the Bailey I knew. The Bailey I knew was kind and always spoke calmly to everyone. However, it was as if the Bailey I had once known had disappeared, leaving me with someone completely different.

"I just wanted to see her room." I pleaded with her. "I'm sorry that I didn't come here last year. I was going to! I promise you that I was!"

That was when an odd sound rang through the air. I hadn't heard it for what felt like years and I was more than surprised that I was hearing it now. The corners of Bailey's mouth turned upwards and her lips opened to release her laughter. My brows furrowed in utter confusion and I continued to watch her in silence until she finally spoke once again.

"You actually thought I was angry because you didn't show up for the one year anniversary of her being gone?!" She laughed, reaching out a hand to the door frame in order to steady herself. "You really think I cared that you weren't here? Harry, it wouldn't have even mattered if you were here. She's still gone!" She bellowed, her eyes turning darker once again and her laughter finally dissipating.

"She'll come back," I protested, my tone seeming more broken than I had intended. I hadn't particularly wanted her to know that her words had hurt me. I wanted to seem stronger than I really was in front of her so that she didn't know how bad it still pained me.

"No, she won't, Harry! She's never coming back! Ever! She's gone! Why can't you just accept that!?" Bailey screeched at the top of her lungs and as she uttered her next words, I realised something. "Forget about her, Harry!"

The wooden door slammed shut and silence took over my ears. Every word that she'd said didn't seem real. It didn't seem like my true reality. It was as if I'd seen a nightmare right before my eyes.

And it was then that I realised that Bailey had lost the love for her elder sister. She'd forgotten about all that Talia had meant to her. She'd forgotten the laughs, the smiles and all of the happy memories that had once been embedded in her mind.

I'd known since the moment that I met Talia that I would love her and that my love for her would be the strongest I'd ever feel. I guess it's often like that with first loves. Well, at least that's what people have told me. They said that you never forget your first love and maybe they're right. I don't know. Maybe that's why I couldn't forget her. The memory of her was crushed so deeply into my brain, I could never forget. Love is an odd thing, though. You can fall into it slowly and with caution or you can fall fast and hard. You can feel it brighten your whole being and you can feel it almost bursting at the seams of your heart. Love can break you and torment you. It can make you smile and it can make you cry. Love is one of the most powerful emotions that I've ever felt and Talia is the reason for that. Somehow I was lucky enough to have someone who loved me the way she did. However, I'd made a fault during my relationship with Talia because I hadn't realised how much I loved her until she was gone.

But unlike Bailey, I wasn't going to allow myself to lose the love that I felt for Talia. I wasn't going to give up on her. I still loved her and I knew I always would. No matter what anyone told me, I would always love her with every inch of my heart.

And so, as I descended the steps of her old front porch, I gazed back upon the house and smiled before whispering something I hoped that my girl already knew.

"I love you, Talia, no matter where you are."

*

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