Fractured Mind

Entry #1

2:10am Tuesday, 29th Sep 2020

I've been through alot since the corona outbreak but since I live within the wesr side of Australia, it's calmed down alot, I lost alot of family due to old age and it's hurting that I can't attend every funeral but I will always have them in my heart, I've been trying to sleep for awhile tonight but here I am, typing to you while my cat sits on my lap and snores very loudly yet somehow its still very cute? I've been talking to this guy for awhile that I've known for 3 years and he wants to make the effort to see me since he likes me that much, its alot of work but he's up for it and it makes me really happy but my ex still grips onto my ankles and begs for my love which I cannot give him in return, it's been 3 years, my love for him is no more but I hate saying 'no' but I haven't said 'yes', yet I ignore him because he never had and never will accept the word 'no' and I don't want to be the cause of this 'mans' death since his life seems hard as it is but yet, I'm convinced its all stupid lies since he's always been good with that.