It was a Monday morning and you were groggy as usual. You get out of bed and make your way to the slytherin common room, only to see no one was there.
"Hello?" You say, confused at the whereabouts of your peers.
"Fatty," you hear in a slight whisper behind you.
You turn around and sure enough, it was Draco Malfoy. The blonde blondie winked at u and began to circle you.
"Everyone dropped out of hogwarts the second u showed up, because I don't know if you noticed, but you stank. Like really bad. But I stayed of course because father would spank me if I left... haha" he announces.
"Uh what," you say, tears pouring out of your eye sockets.
Suddenly Draco comes close to ur face and licks up your tears. "Yummy, even your tears taste like human feces," he snickers.
"I literally took a shower tho-" he cuts you off
"Let's cut to the chase darling, shall we? I'm a boy and you're... kind of a girl I guess.... so let's just get this over with!" He strips off his robes to reveal his scronny body.
"What is going on???" You scream.
Suddenly, a figure smacks into the room and trips, catching Draco as he falls.
"Professor snape?????" You bellow. "What are you doing here???"
"Well..... Ok fine I was eavesdropping but you can't blame me! Your stank is so intriguing I just wanted a three way with you and little old Draco here because he's so hot and blonde and I like blon-"
"OH JUST SHUT UP YOU HAIRY BALLSACK! LETS F*CKKKKK!!!!" Draco screams.
Suddenly snape is naked too and you're left wide eyed.
Snape and Draco begin to speak parcel tongue to their members as they wave them around and you watch. You take a picture and post it on Instagram with the caption, "about to see how THESE snakes like MY chamber of secret... lol"
Suddenly you're sitting on the floor snapes peep in your left ear and dracos in your right. You hum the melody of the song Cedric was murdered to, it reminded you of happy times.
When snape and Draco completed their mission you got up.
"Well. Guess I'll see you in class or whatever" snape moans.
"Actually on second thought I'm getting out of here, I've realized that you guys are freaks and well, I'd rather make love to cedrics dead body lmfao. Bye" you prance out the common room to find his grave.
Draco drops To his knees and screams. "NOOOOO MY LOVE COME BACK!"
But you don't because u like didn't want to I guess lmfao.
THE END! Hope this got y'all flustered......
