I cherished our bond so I let you walk all over me
because what I had to say, I felt, would leave you, over me.
Am I just overreacting or are you really buggin'
Inability to decipher just got me mean muggin'.
Steady having a problem with what you doin' and sayin'
LOL's at the end just so you could say you were playin'.
Do I stay true, go on and say what's on this heart of mine
Or put integrity aside just so what we have can survive - My tongue forever held.
Now how I'm feeling towards you will naturally peek it's head out
On any and everybody around me, that I have a doubt about.
Apologies to the casualties of my unsorted emotions
A fallacy so sad to see framed as undying devotion to never being alone.
We been side by side rockin' together for way too long
But I just can't keep listening to this same song.
Naw....Naw, not the homie
Not one of the ones who use to always hold me down
If it were 3 times personal, wouldn't think to make a sound
Shootouts, and knuckle ups, we flipped and doubled up
While eating out the same corner store ramen noodle cup.
Naw....Not my lover
Spirit like no other
Feet on my back so cold under them gotdamn covers (smile)
See you for the thousandth time and still my heart would flutter
Well on your way to becoming my unborn child's mother.
Naw....Not my friend
Ridin' with me until the end
When anything at all went down and it would never depend.
We were simply all in
And then...
Months turned to years, a lot of time to invest
Self respect that I possess being put to the test
Picturing you out of the picture is hard for me to digest, nonetheless
All of the above, it must be addressed, so I can take a deep breath, and finally get to rest knowing that I gave it my best.
Self Reflection, subs bumpin', ridin' down 85
901.........Shelby Drive.........Look Alive
The more I felt what needed to be done brought a tear to my eye
Talkin' demise, severed ties of closest allies
The suffocation of a vibe that became so contrived.
Thanks to me falling victim to insecurity
Desperately trying to preserve our covenants' purity
We want it to always be good, we don't want nothin' wrong
But often the wrong will let us know if we are really strong
Or if we were never even destined to weather all along.
Feel you should already know based off of what we've been through
Caught up between wanting to lash out and wanting to defend you
Against my words that haven't even been spoken yet
Expecting you to read me perfectly needs to be put in check
We still livin', never even once having it all figured out
It looks mighty treacherous, but this could be the best route.
I crave the day we both can say that we're on the same page
But not at the cost of, afterwards, we both just feel taylor made.
By one another.
That ain't cool
All of these hand picked rules
Feeling restricted with resemblances of stepping stools.
Is it compromise or sacrifice, I guess we roll the dice
How much of me would I give up to keep you in my life.
Only one way to find out, (exhale) so alright here we go
Even if heartbreak is waiting on the other side of that doe.
We want family, we want friends, all of the way to no end
We first may need to feel like we won't ever see them again.
Whatever comes of this, I have no choice but to condone it
Unwanted failure so no chances taken, but that hurts more, don't it
Sometimes we're only meant to be around each other for a moment
Whether it's long or short
What's important is that we vent
780 words may not have even made a dent
But guess what at most you tried
Before you looked back on it bearing witness to one big lie
Everyday growing a little more ok with goodbye
With how things are now, I simply can no longer deal
Today, I say what is real no matter how you feel
