𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒫𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

s a v e my s e l f

"Save Myself" bye Ashe

There is no exact pairing here since the person Jisoo is pertaining to isn't indicated. You can pretend it's you or any of the members.

Warning : Abuse, toxic relationship

I thought I was a lost cause, I thought I couldn't do it, I thought it was over for me, but I proved myself wrong. We got together when I was 20 years old and at the age of 25, I finally removed you from my life. I've wasted half of my twenties for you, I couldn't save myself back then. My friends tried to do everything to just to get me away from you but I somehow always come back, I know you weren't good for me but I stayed, hoping that you'll change.

I'm mad at myself, so mad because when we were together, I let you do all those things to me. The first year with you was okay, I felt happy but the next four years was hell. I didn't deserve that, I didn't deserve you and yet, it took me years to get away from you. Look what you did to me, I'm so scared that one day, you'll come back again and bring me back. I don't trust myself anymore because of you, it's all because of you!

There's still part of me that wants you back, if I had the chance, I would take it back but I hope there's none. I would rather die. If only I was never yours, I wouldn't feel this way. I should be engaged by now or have a long term relationship and yet, her I am, still starting over.

You used me, I knew that, I could have saved myself time and lots of money. It's not my fault, none of this is my fault, but why do I find myself blaming myself every night?

You broke me, you fucking broke me.

Now I'm free, away from you. Everything worked out the way it's meant to be, you're in jail now and is on life sentence. Justice, I like the taste of it. It wasn't easy from the start, I was afraid, traumatized to the point that my friends lived with me to take care of me. I would wake up every night, crying because I would dream of you. Please just leave me alone!

I was almost sent to an asylum because I couldn't stop screaming, why did you do all of that to me? I know not everyone is like you, but when they approach me, I would shake uncontrollably, my mind immediately asking for help. Because of that, my friends does not let me go out alone anymore, I'm scared of people now.

I will heal someday, I know, but it will took some time but for now, I'm happy that I got to escape you.

I hope you rot in jail.

----------

Lyrics :

God damn
Hindsight 2020
Poured rain
All over my sunny
Someday
This will all be funny, mm

We were
Cocaine
Playing milk and honey
Dysfunctional
I was a junkie
Someday
This will all be funny, oh oh oh

I know everything worked out the way it's meant to be
But honestly

If I had the chance
I would take it back
Jumping off your sinking ship
'Stead of going down with it, oh
One day I'll be good
Right now I'm just mad
Over being so mature
If only I was never yours, oh

I could have
Saved myself
Time and lots of money
Could've saved myself, oh
I shouldn't blame myself
I kinda saw it coming
Could've saved myself
From you

Red flags
Tended to ignore them
White flag
Never sent it soaring
So hard to forget it
In the morning, no oh

I know everything worked out the way it's meant to be
But honestly

If I had the chance
I would take it back
Jumping off your sinking ship
'Stead of going down with it, oh
One day I'll be good
Right now I'm just mad
Over being so mature
If only I was never yours, oh

I could have
Saved myself
Time and lots of money
Could've saved myself, oh
I shouldn't blame myself
I kinda saw it coming
Could've saved myself
From you

I could have saved myself
From wasting half my twenties
Saved myself
From you

I could have
Saved myself
Time and lots of money
Could've saved myself, oh
I shouldn't blame myself
I kinda saw it coming
Could've saved myself
From you