F**k The World

Prelude

This ain't how I thought it would be.

Back in High school I would never imagine I'd be living like this.

Money.

Clothes.

Women.

But still, it meant nothing. Wont none of this matter ten years from now; shit, it probably won't even matter tomorrow. I guess that's my problem. I get bored with everything too easy.

" Hey baby."

Speaking of bored.....

She rolled over in the covers and was smiling from ear to ear. She was pretty and had a nice, genuine vibe. That was something all too rare nowadays.

It's too bad I forgot her name.

"Hey." I said, smiling back.

" If you wanna go again...we can you know."

I chuckled and thought about it for a minute, but as much as I wanted to, I was ready to go home at this point.

"Sorry love, I'm tired as fuck." I yawned.

She chuckled as if what I said was funny.

"If you tapping out just say that." Was her response.

Bitch please.

"Whatever." I said, smacking my lips.

The girl's dorm was a mess and it took me a few minutes to find my pants and my shoes. I think I heard her say something to me but her voice was aggravating as hell so I decided to ignore it. Now that I think about it, that was her only flaw for the most part.

"Boy is you listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"Nigga if you can huh you can hear."

Yea, I gotta get the fuck outta here.

I grabbed my shirt off her dresser and started walking to the door.

"Text me when you get home." She said softly.

"I gotcha."

As I was walking out, somebody familiar was walking towards the room. He looked shook and had fear in his eyes.

Not of me, but of what he realized just happened.

Tragic.

I got in my car and put the keys in the ignition, shaking my head. I hope he doesn't hurt her, she seemed like a nice girl

It was a quiet 3 AM in LA that night. Nobody was out. The clubs were empty. Just dimly lit streets and wandering souls.

I walked into my apartment and lit the blunt I left the night before. After putting my headphones in, I sat on my bed and laid back, inhaling the smoke and descending into my thoughts.

I loved being alone more than anything.

Fake friends and their company never excited me. I have yet to meet an equal among my peers both in my ideals and intellectually to call them a friend. People my age are too concerned with the things that don't matter in life and find satisfaction in them. Drinking, partying, and drugs are their ideas of "fun". Every weekend is a constant competition to out smoke or out drink the next person and do it all over again. A constant cycle of senselessness and stupidity that consumes much of their youth. I admit to my partial hypocrisy in the fact that I do indulge in drugs and parties but it's not my reason for living nor my main focus in life. I use drugs to escape this worldly reality and parties to satisfy my vices. They don't control me, I control them.

Love and it's allure is dead to me. Tonight just happened to be another reason why. Sex is one of the only comforts I find nowadays. That and my weed. Attachment to other people is the path towards destruction I know all to well. I'm just fine doing me, and counterfeit relationships are something I don't need.

I never did and I never will. I'm all I got and I'm all I ever needed....